Guy: Why the fuck are you dating Jimmy?
Girl: ‘Cause he’s sweet and nice, unlike you.
Guy: But he’s Chinese.
Girl: So? Are you racist or something?
Guy: Nah… but Chinese dudes got some small-ass hamster dicks. I know he ain’t hittin’ that right.
–F train
Overheard by: Tupac
JAP: Aww, but you two would be the perfect couple!
Queer: Why?
JAP: Because you’re both gay!
–French Roast Cafe, W 11th St
Overheard by: mound charger
Ghetto guy: She know she got a man, but she’ll still gimme some. She know that!
–7 train
Young woman, screaming at young man: I dare you to fuck someone else again! I dare you!… You better not fuck anyone else! You better not!
–Hoyt-Schermerhorn station, Brooklyn
Queer on cell: Since when has your gaping hole decided to be faithful to your boyfriend?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Keith
Walking VD: When I first met you seven months ago I was kinda in another relationship. But now that that’s over, wanna get back in bed?
–32nd & 7th
Cop: So I’m fucking his wife for 6 years, and now he complains!
–238th & Broadway
Overheard by: Miriam
Guy: Damnit, no girl ever wants to go out with me.
Girl: What do you mean?
Guy: I don’t think girls like me; they say I’m an ass.
Girl: I like you!
Guy: I don’t date dudes.
–Tribeca
Overheard by: Nozomi
Girl #1: Everyone always criticizes my choice in men. I get so sick of it; there’s nothing wrong with Tom.
Girl #2: He looks like Hitler, he drools, he’s always whining and making high-pitched noises, and everyone keeps putting him down, and he never even stands up for himself.
Girl #1: He may be a total loser and a freak but he still has some redeeming qualities. Plus if I didn’t date him no one else would.
Tom: Thanks.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Upstate Gambler
Teenage girl #1: I totally learned something at Coney Island the other day!
Teenage girl #2: Yeah?
Teenage girl #1: If you are walking on a sidewalk in Coney Island with a boy, and he has you walking closest to the street, that means he wants to sell you.
Teenage girl #2: Sell you?
Teenage girl #1: Yeah, but it only works in Coney Island. Joel told me. He was walking closest to the street. I think he really likes me!
–Q train, Brooklyn
Overheard by: jesse
Girl #1: Having a boyfriend then just wouldn’t have fit into my schedule.
Girl #2: Which was: get up late, smoke pot, and go back to bed.
Girl #1: And watch Roswell!
—Pirates of the Caribbean 2 advance screening, the Zeigfield
Overheard by: Nick Draven
Girl: He took me to a Japanese restaurant. I got the chicken karaoke.
–78th & Broadway
Overheard by: E HAGEN
20-Something girl: So, is Alabama in Kentucky?
–27th & 1st
Overheard by: interlard
Early-20’s woman: The Himalayas aren’t a real place. They’re like Narnia.
–1st & 1st
Ghetto girl: In British Whose Line Is It Anyway?, do they speak English?
–75th St
Guy: My dad’s dating Jabba the Hutt with red eyebrows.
Girl: No!
–Myrtle & Washington, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Sara Jerome
Woman: You know how the Germans continue to punish the Jews? They date them.
–6th St & 2nd Ave
