Girl, handing phone to gay Asian friend: Here, talk to John.
Gay Asian friend: Hi, John… Are you naked? [pause] What? You are naked? In this weather?! Damn, man, your thing must be as small as a peanut by now!
–Borders Bookstore, 100th & Broadway
Overheard by: Stunned and literate
Creepy guy: I like your hat.
Girl reading: Thanks.
Creepy guy: Do you have the time?
Girl reading: Sure. 6:30.
Creepy guy: Can I ask what your book is about?
Girl reading: Female circumcision.
Creepy guy: No, can I ask what your book is about?
Girl reading: Female circumcision.
Creepy guy: Are you serious?!
Girl reading: Yeah.
Creepy guy: You enjoy that.
Girl reading: Thanks, I will.
–Q Train
Guy #1: I love the spring time.
Guy #2: Man, you like looking at asses.
–Harlem
Overheard by: Evans Tucker
California girl: Where are you from?
Jersey girl: New Jersey. You?
California girl: California.
Jersey girl: Oh, wow! I like California. It’s nice. California is like an exciting version of Maryland.
–Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Chiara
Toddler in grocery cart seat: Do you know any songs?
Toddler in adjacent grocery cart seat (singing): I’ve been working of the F train, all the live long day, I’ve been working on the F train just to pass the time away; can’t you hear the whistle blowing, rise up so early in the ‘morn, can’t you hear the captain shouting, “stand clear of the closing doors!”
–Food Coop, Park Slope
Overheard by: Brooklyn, Baby!
Guy #1: The reason people don’t read enough is because there’s too many other forms of media that are more interesting. Why is some kid gonna pick up a book when he can watch one of the thousands channels on TV? That’s it! There needs to be a channel about books!
Guy #2: There is a channel about books. It’s called Book TV. It’s boring as hell.
Guy #1: Oh.
–Near Baruch College, 23rd St
Young college girl #1: So she said to do Kegel exercises when you are on the subway.
Young college girl #2: That makes sense. When you’re on the subway no one knows you are doing them!
Young college girl #3: [tries to wrap legs over head] Is this how you do them? Wait, aren’t they supposed to make you tighter?
–E Train
Overheard by: I do them at work
Homeless guy: God is love and love is god! Give me money! Love like god does!
[five minutes later]Homeless guy: God is love and love is god! Give me money! Love like god does!
Passenger: I’ll pay you to shut up.
Homeless guy: How much? I won’t accept less than ten dollars.
–F Train
Girl #1: It’s not a date. We’re just going to a show. It’s like if you and me went.
Girl #2: Except he’s not black and short like me.
Girl #1: And I love him.
Girl #2: You love me too.
Girl #1: I don’t want to suck on parts of your body.
–Madison Square Park
Girl: What do you mean, you like her? Like, you-want-to-bone-her like-her?
Guy: Could you please not say that!?
–NYU Kimmel Student Center
Overheard by: A. Haven
