Old man: Where are the seat numbers?
Usher: On the right.
Old man: When I’m facing which way?
–Helen Hayes Theater, 44th St
Overheard by: Valerie Z
Old man: Where are the seat numbers?
Usher: On the right.
Old man: When I’m facing which way?
–Helen Hayes Theater, 44th St
Overheard by: Valerie Z
Man: That was pretty good.
Woman: Yeah, it reminded me of that movie with the White Witch.
Man: 101 Dalmatians?
Woman: Right.
–Loews Theatre
Law student #1: Don’t judge me — I am just trying to learn!
Law student #2: I’m not judging you. I’m also trying to learn. [Law student #1 leaves room.]Law student #3: For someone who studies all the time, he sure doesn’t get it.
–NYU School of Law
HS boy: Well, I tend to write more sloppily.
Asian girlfriend: ‘Sloppily’?! Is that even a word?
HS boy: It’s an adverb.
Asian girlfriend: Yes, but I said, is that even a word?
–1 train
Overheard by: Trying not to laugh outloud
Dude on cell: He just ate the whole freaking diaper? So, he just shit it out in little pieces?
–Red Rock Bar, 17th & 10th
Overheard by: Scooby-Don’t
Girl: Couldn’t you just write me a prescription?
Guy: No, I can’t do that yet.
–Ludlow & Stanton
Overheard by: Barry
Chick: I would like to become a boy for a day just so I can pee standing up.
Guy: I am not going to lie to you, it’s awesome!
–Georgia Diner, Queens
Guido #1: You know, if a toosami hit the beach, it would flood all the way up to here.
Guido #2: A what?
Guido #1: A toosami. Like in India. You know, a tidal wave.
Guido #2: You know, I don’t wanna laugh in your face, so why don’t you just shut the fuck up…
Guido #1: What?
–Prospect Park SW
Overheard by: Patrick Di Justo
Chick #1: Hey, what are you doing?
Chick #2, sparying floor with disinfectant: Well, I heard on Tyra that you can get STDs from just walking on the same floor as someone else.
Chick #1: You did? Well, it must be true! Why didn’t you tell me?!
–1250 Broadway
