Chinese guy: Hey, now that you’re here we can go to Sylvia’s in Harlem and get some soul food.
Black guy: What do you mean, "now that I’m here"? What, you can’t go to Harlem by yourself, but now that you’ve got your token black you’re safe? That’s fucked up.
Chinese guy: Let me ask you something: would you go to Harlem alone at night?
Black guy: OK, that’s not the point.
–Chinatown
Overheard by: Ricky
Girl: And can I get brown rice with my order?
Waiter: No, we don’t have brown rice here. Only white rice.
Girl: Oh, OK.
Waiter: We don’t consider brown rice Chinese food.
–40th & 2nd
Guy #1: So she looks at it with all the sauce, and goes, “That’s not Italian.” That’s her whole classification system: everything’s either Italian or not Italian.
Guy #2: Good thing the library doesn’t use that system.
–Datavision Computer Video, 38th & 5th
Father: Look at that sign. What do you think mela means?
Son: I don’t know.
Father: Look at the picture.
Son: Oh, apple! So it’s, like, an Applebee’s?
–Little Italy
Foodie: Have you ever been to China Grill?
Non-Foodie: Is that Cuban food?
–62nd & Broadway
Headline by: clarence rosario
Runners-Up:
· “You’re Confusing ‘Boat People’ With the ‘Cardboard Raft’ People” – Jo Jo
· “Close, But No Cigar” – andrew harrison
· “Con-Fusion Cuisine” – Greg Costello
· “Either Way You Feel Oppressed Again an Hour Later.” – Syd O
· “May I Take Your New World Order?” – jason daniel
· “Michelin Should Have Never Named it the Red Guide” – Fes
· “Public-School Geography Teachers Do Lunch.” – Doctor Whom
· “Sum Dim People Think So” – Constant Irritant
Girl #1: You wanna try some of my tuna roll?
Girl #2: No, that’s okay. I’ll just eat my box.
–Sushiya, 56th & 5th
Overheard by: Reina
Little girl, pointing to an ad depicting peanut butter and banana on
bread: What is that?
Mother, looking at the ad for a moment: It’s sushi.
Little girl: What’s sushi?
Mother: It’s Chinese food…You wouldn’t like it.
–Downtown B train
Headline by: Maniac Moll
Runners-Up:
· “愚かなアメリカ人” – Oog Oog
· “1 Billion Americans Couldn’t be Wrong” – Moze
· “50,000 Elvis Fans Discover They Like Raw Fish” – ED
· “And Why Don’t We Like Chinese Food? That’s Right, ‘Cause They Bombed Pearl Harbour” – Brendan
· “Choosey Moms Choose Eel and Avocodo” – PJ
· “Don’t Tell Me What I Like, You Chink Bitch” – Bevan
· “If You Eat the Wrong Part, You Become a Gorilla” – devin the artist
· “It’s Only Chinese if the Banana Is Small” – Oren K
· “Mommy, it Looks so Much Like Daddy’s Cock Coming Out of Your Asshole.” – Extra Character
· “New Study Finds Confusion Prevents Childhood Obesity” – Booters
· “Technically, Honey, It’s Sashimi” – ED
Little girl, reading children’s book aloud: Mariko is Japanese. She eats sushi.
Mom: But we know that [pointing to picture] is actually sashimi.
–M86 bus
Overheard by: Caitlin
Tammy Ealom: When I’m in New York, I eat way too much Chinese food.
Dude: Did you go to Chinatown?
Tammy Ealom: No, just some place up the street. When you come from Denver, pretty much everything is good.
–Dressy Bessy show, Sin-e, Attorney & Stanton
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Girl #1: That falafel was super good! What’s it made out of?
Girl #2: Chickpeas.
Girl #1: Oh. You mean, like, from chickens?
–East Village
Overheard by: S.
