Girl: You have to try this pasta I bought. It’s the best dry pasta you’ve ever tasted.
Boy: Best? I’ll try it, but I should warn you — I’m Italian.
Girl: Ugh, Italian people are always saying that!
–Elevator, NYU, Water St
Overheard by: Abram
Girl: You have to try this pasta I bought. It’s the best dry pasta you’ve ever tasted.
Boy: Best? I’ll try it, but I should warn you — I’m Italian.
Girl: Ugh, Italian people are always saying that!
–Elevator, NYU, Water St
Overheard by: Abram
Woman: Come here, sweetheart! You lousy fucking Puerto Rican scum!
–4th & MacDougal
Construction worker to another: Come here, I’ll buy you some food ’cause you’re my man. What, you want Puerto Rican food? They’ve got Puerto Rican food here.
–Burger King, 46th St, between 5th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Suit: Have you ever been to Croatia? They treated me like a god just for being Puerto Rican.
–M31 bus, between Madison & Lex
Dude: Nawww, don’t go to Puerto Rico. It’s just like New Jersey!
–Outside Caliente Cab Co.
Girl: So, yeah, he took me to dinner at this Japanese place and–
Friend: –What’s his background?
Girl: He went to Georgetown and majored in–
Friend: –No. What color is he?
Girl: Oh, he’s white.
Friend, disappointed: That’s so boring… You’re sure? Plain white?
–116th & Broadway
Georgian tourist looking out window at Hasidic Jew: Oh, look at that man in the Abraham Lincoln costume!
–M1bus near Wall St
Overheard by: Nolan & Brandon
Mother to son: Basically, the Unitarians are the most Jewish of all the…
–91st & Broadway
Overheard by: Carol Elk
Potential student: What’s a Jesuit? A Jewish person?
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Overheard by: Rachel Hoban
Guy on cell: He doesn’t even drink! He’s Jewish. Apparently Jews don’t drink.
–47th & 9th
Yenta on cell: Can you believe it? She’s planning to have quesadillas as her Passover meal!
–8th St & Hudson
Overheard by: Laughing Goy
Suit to another: Come on — I mean, we’re Jews. We can walk on water!
–20th & Park
Little boy to nanny: I should be a doctor when I grow up, because I’m Jewish. Or an acrobat…
–F train
Overheard by: LaLa
Girl #1: I looove Mexican food.
Girl #2: Me, too… just not people ordering it while they’re having sex with me.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Tourist son: But what do they call Chinese food in China?
Tourist mom, thinking: I don’t know honey, good question.
–36th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Omar
Girl: I went to this awesome Italian restaurant last night.
Boy: Oh, yeah? What did you have?
Girl: This thing called ‘Prophylactic.’
Boy: That’s ‘Profiterole,’ you dumbass.
–20th St & 5th Ave
Girl #1: Hey, so I went to that sushi place you told me to go to last night, and I got food poisoning!
Girl #2: Oh. Hey, you went there? How was it?
Girl #1: I got food poisoning.
Girl #2: Yeah, but how was it before the vomiting set in?
–Ameritania Hotel
Chick complaining about looking for roommates: The problem with today is that everybody’s Jewish.
–Dobbin & Norman
Overheard by: Sam Tresler
Young quasi-gangster to friends: Even if you’re not Jewish, you’re, like… Jewish.
–Post-Yankees game on B train
Overheard by: Indiana
Tourist chick: How, how, how can there be no Jewish deli? All I want is a tongue sandwich and a fucking piece of pizza!
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: X-tal
Lady suit: Are you saying you’d rather be with a Jewish person than a wife-beater?
–18th & 6th
Overheard by: emily
JAP: Shiksas are totally not allowed on Jdate!
–71st & Columbus
Overheard by: DebDan
Chick in stall to friend: It must be a Jewish thing, but whenever there’s food around I have to eat it — even if I’m not hungry.
–Restroom, Loews Cinema, 11th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Em
Queer: No, like, of course you’re not Jewish. I just wanted to check before I dissed the Jews.
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: hilla
Black NYU boy: For some reason, every Asian here has a rice cooker.
Black girl: Why?
Black NYU boy: I don’t know, I guess because they’re Asian.
Black girl: That’s so stupid. I’m black, but you don’t see me with a chicken fryer.
–8th St & University Pl
Overheard by: yo mama
