Seven-year-old boy: This hat is fake.
Seven-year-old girl: Hats can't be fake. Hats can't even be real.

–6 Train

Overheard by: oldsamcole

Man handing out New York Post: New York Post! If you're illiterate, only 75 cents! If you only lookin at pictures, 50 cents!

–6th Ave & W 8th St

Overheard by: lady v

Man selling cotton candy: Get your cotton candy here! Cotton candy! I got your all-natural blue fibers of sugar right here! Straight from the blue cotton fields of…Virginia! Cotton candy, here!

–Shea Stadium

Street perfume seller to browser: You like Vera Wang, princess? This is genuine Wang.

–34th & 6th

Overheard by: Weary Communter

Street vendor: Hey, where are you ladies from? (two teenage girls walk by) Oh, that's cool, that's cool, I think I have a friend that lives there!

–7th & 40th

Overheard by: Tiffany

AM New York guy: Sir, would you like a paper this morning? No? No? (shakes head and looks at the ground) I don't care. (pause) It's okay, I don't care.

–145th & St. Nich

Overheard by: sorry charlie

Fake purse salesman: Gucci makes the coochie go woo woo!

–Times Square

Guy #1, sitting on bench looking at own hand: This isn't LSD, these are…pieces of cardboard, that guy just ripped me off.
Guy #2, sitting next to him: Lemme eat one, we'll see.

–Washignton Square

Overheard by: guthrie

Guy: (pretends to throw up on himself)
Girl: (pretends to lick the vomit off his torso)
Guy: Oh man, that makes me really want some eggnog. (gets up and goes to get eggnog)

–Bedford Ave

Overheard by: Mariah

Passport office worker: Ma'am, you want to ask me a question, you're gonna need to step into the line at this window.
Woman: But I only…
Passport office worker: No buts. You get into this line or I don't talk to you. You don't step away from this window, I call security.
Woman: Fine! Call security!
Passport office worker (grabbing phone): Security, you gonna need to come up and take care of this lady–and oh, she's getting so nasty!
(both laugh)
Passport office worker: So you gettin' ready to go out to lunch?
Woman: Yeah, you want me to pick you up something?

–US Passport Office

Overheard by: Chuckell

Hipster smoking clove: Hey, what kind of fur is that?
Uptown woman in fur: Um… Fake?
Hipster smoking clove: Cool.

–Outside the Imperial Theatre, West 45th Street

Overheard by: JasonBSchmidt

Nineteen-year-old guy: So do you want to try role playing tonight?
Nineteen-year-old girlfriend: What?!
Nineteen-year-old guy: You know, like let’s pretend we’re from Brooklyn.

–120th & Broadway

Overheard by: Heather V

Guy #1: Man, do you think *Jane is hot?
Guy #2: I mean she’s smart, but I wouldn’t say she’s hot. Why do you think she’s into you?
Guy #1: Well, I think that she thinks I’m arrogant, but I’m not. It just comes off that way because I’m really insecure, my confidence is all fake.
Guy #3: Hey, I think that girl is listening to us… And she’s laughing.
Guy #1: Anyway… Can we please talk about my insecurities for a while, we never talk about me.

–Metro North

Overheard by: texting her friend the whole convo

Tourist on cell: So, what do you want me to bring you back from NYC? A fake Louis Vuitton bag? Or fake Chanel perfume?

–57th & 7th

Bimbette: I just don’t have the energy to have a fake conversation.


Overheard by: tired

Large black man laughing to self: They thought I was a fake doughnut.

–1 train

Overheard by: Craig

Offended girl: Look at this fake snow! It mocks us! Fuck you, fake snow!

–Houston & Bowery

Overheard by: In complete agreement