Hobo: Yeah man, that’s good shit. Except for those white-ass American bandstand drummers. Whoever heard of fucking Clark Kent playing bongos?
–55th & 9th
Overheard by: Luke Reynolds
Hobo: Yeah man, that’s good shit. Except for those white-ass American bandstand drummers. Whoever heard of fucking Clark Kent playing bongos?
–55th & 9th
Overheard by: Luke Reynolds
Chick #1: Oh, you’re wearing your hair open today!
Chick #2: “Open”?
Chick #1: Well, you know what I mean…
Chick #2: Oh, yeah. It’s open like a brothel.
Chick #1: What?
Chick #2: It’s open like a brothel.
–Barnard College
Girl #1: She told me she could get wine stains out of the suede…
Girl #2: Wow, did she?
Girl #1: When I came to pick it up there was a big red stain and I said, “What the fuck is this?”–like that–and she just looked at me all dumb.
Girl #2: What, was she Chinese or something?
Girl #1: No, she was normal.
–LIRR train
Guy: We’re all wearing jeans. We all have black hair.
Chick: We’re all Asian.
Guy: We are? I thought we were just normal?
–F train
Overheard by: Gretchen Irmiger
Girl #1: Yo, if I had a baby and it was really ugly, I’d say flat out, “That baby is ugly,” and I’d have to try again.
Girl #2: Naw. Just dress it up good, no one will know.
–Metro-North train
Hobo: You want to see the ugliest person…Look over there at the lady in the brown coat. Don’t look though, it could be scary. It’ll electrify ya. Scare ya stiff. That, my friends, is ugly.
–L train
Overheard by: Jess
Dude: Shit man, slow down. Slow down. Whatcha runnin’ to?Yoga? Nigga’s runnin’ to yoga. White man runnin’ to yoga. Thought yoga was supposed to cure that shit.
–Union Square
Hipster guy #1: Oh my god, fuck the Strokes! I’m here for Eagles of Death Metal! Yeah! Ha, ha! Fuck, I love eagles but I hate death metal!
Hipster girl: Where’s Julian? Where’s Julian?
Hipster guy #2: Shut the fuck up guys, this lead singer’s fuckin’ Dave Grohl or some shit!
–Hammerstein Ballroom, West 34th Street
Girl: Was it wrong that I totally didn’t enjoy that at all?
Guy: Uh…
Girl: I mean it was like every song is exactly the same and they’re just a bunch of 6 1/2 foot tall guys in leather jackets.
–34th between 8th & 9th
Girl #1: I hate my haircut. But it might just be in pictures. I need to look at myself in the mirror for a few hours.
Girl #2: Like you do every day?
Girl #1: Yeah, I’m a little vain.
–60th & Columbus
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Guy: You got something on your face.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: EBS
Guy on pay phone: Hey Tom, it’s Jerry.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Matthew Suss
