Girl: Did you see those capris? They looked like the girl had her vagina on sideways!
–Windsor Terrace
Girl: Did you see those capris? They looked like the girl had her vagina on sideways!
–Windsor Terrace
Guy #1: Yeah, and she had tits like eggplants.
Guy #2: And they were hairy?
Guy #1: Yeah, the hairs were like this long and black.
Guy #2: That’s fucking sick.
–Penn Station
Security lady #1: I don’t think I never met an Amish person.
Security lady #2: Ain’t that Marie Osmond an Amish? Yeah, she’s an Amish person.
Security lady #1: If she’s Amish, why is she allowed to wear so much makeup? They can’t wear makeup, right?
–LaGuardia
Guy #1: Yo, she want me to give her a kid, son. She only 28. I’m like, you don’t need no kid when you 28. Just start in your thirties and have ’em back to back to back.
Girl: You make it sound pretty easy to have kids back to back. That’s hard on a woman.
Guy #1: And she ain’t the only one. Lots of girls want me to give them kids.
Girl: Your sperm is in high demand.
Guy #2: What do you want, man? You’re a good-looking guy.
Guy #1: I know. I’m hot. But sometimes it feels like a curse to be this hot.
–4 train
Yarmulke guy #1: Well, I mean, like for me one of the biggest issues was religiosity.
Yarmulke guy #2: So, was she more or less than you?
Yarmulke guy #1: Much less.
Yarmulke guy #2: Yeah?
Yarmulke guy #1: Let me just put it this way: two days after we broke up she was wearing pants.
–1 train
Teen girl #1: Yo, it smells like sex in this train!
Teen girl #2: What the hell does sex smell like?
Teen girl #1: Oops, that’s right! You’re a virgin. Well, it smells, well, uh,it smells like sex! Okay, who in this train just got some booty? Was it you? You? Oh hell naw, you’re too ugly.
Teen girl #2: You really think someone would have sex on a crowded train?
–F train
Man: Those are some fine-lookin’ sweaters!
Old lady: Do you like them? I made them, you know.
Man: You made those?
Old lady: I did.
Man: Do you think you could make one for him?
Old lady: I would be delighted!
Man: But, you know…I mean…like, for a boy chihuahua.
–11th & B
Overheard by: Stephanie Matthew-Diaz
Girl #1: What? What are you talking about? I’m talking about the Johnny Cash song, A Boy Named Sue!
Girl #2: And I’m talking about my dog being a cross-dresser.
–27th & 7th
Drunk girl: What kind of guys do you like?…What kind of guys do you like? I like guys with big tits.
–2nd Avenue & 11th Street
Overheard by: vegantoast
Chick on cell: I need you to give me a ride home when I get off the bus. My grandma has been standing in front of my house for over one hour…I bet you anything she needs money again.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Julio
Queer #1: So, what did you think of him?
Queer #2: I don’t see what he sees in him.
Queer #1: And he’s poor.
Queer #2: No! Why is he with someone that homely if he doesn’t have
money?
Queer #1: And did you see his teeth?
Queer #2: There isn’t enough money for me to stick my dick in that
mouth.
–81st & Amsterdam
