Teen girl: So I read that article and cried and cried until my Mom was
like, “Stop crying. You’re retarded.”
–1 train
Teen girl: So I read that article and cried and cried until my Mom was
like, “Stop crying. You’re retarded.”
–1 train
Girl: Do you sell tights with feet?
Store chick: Sorry, we only sell stuff that’s trendy.
–Urban Outfitters, 14th & 6th
Overheard by: Amusled
Girl #1: Foods do not make attractive accessories…We are not a society of Homer Simpsons
Girl #2: Homer didn’t have food accessories.
Girl #1: But don’t you think he’d have liked them?
–L train
Overheard by: Kitty
Ghetto guy #1: You got a Hasidic for a boss? Ha, ha, ha.
Ghetto guy #2: Yeah, that guy is cheap.
Ghetto guy #1: Yo. They got all the dough. All the dough…Dude wear the same clothes every day!
Ghetto guy #2: Ha, ha, ha. Yo, that motherfucker is cheap.
Ghetto guy #1: Same clothes, man. You got the little boy shit, the teenager shit, then the man shit. Three sets of clothes for the entire life. They got all the dough.
–Verb, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Jarrah TG
Woman #1: God, that was so funny when all of those Nazis walked into the courtroom and their hairstyles were like Hitler’s!
Man: Well, I mean, it makes sense, I guess. You know, people always copy famous people when it comes to stuff like that.
Woman #2: Yeah, like remember when I had that terrible Dorothy Hamill haircut?
–Houston Street station
Girl: Babe, I’m gonna get my tits pierced.
Guy: And then I’ll chop them off for you.
–Loews 84th Street Theatre 6
Girl: Did you see those capris? They looked like the girl had her vagina on sideways!
–Windsor Terrace
Guy #1: Yeah, and she had tits like eggplants.
Guy #2: And they were hairy?
Guy #1: Yeah, the hairs were like this long and black.
Guy #2: That’s fucking sick.
–Penn Station
Security lady #1: I don’t think I never met an Amish person.
Security lady #2: Ain’t that Marie Osmond an Amish? Yeah, she’s an Amish person.
Security lady #1: If she’s Amish, why is she allowed to wear so much makeup? They can’t wear makeup, right?
–LaGuardia
Guy #1: Yo, she want me to give her a kid, son. She only 28. I’m like, you don’t need no kid when you 28. Just start in your thirties and have ’em back to back to back.
Girl: You make it sound pretty easy to have kids back to back. That’s hard on a woman.
Guy #1: And she ain’t the only one. Lots of girls want me to give them kids.
Girl: Your sperm is in high demand.
Guy #2: What do you want, man? You’re a good-looking guy.
Guy #1: I know. I’m hot. But sometimes it feels like a curse to be this hot.
–4 train
