Food

Wednesday One-Liners Taste Like Chicken

Dude to another: … And he said he found a recipe for turning human beings into mutton.

–Coney Island

Overheard by: Psychlone

Kid: Boogers taste like paste!

–Park Slope

Overheard by: paste eater

Chick: So I didn’t know what it was… And then I put it in my mouth…

–Benny’s Burritos

Man: I’ve never eaten a fetus that big…

–8th Ave, near 14th St

Professor: I mean, I was looking into Christianity, but then I was driven to cannibalism…

–Eugene Lang College

Jock: Man, the things I would eat out of her ass…!

–Union Square

Who Are You?

Guy: I love you like I love sliced chicken…
Girl: Huh?
Guy: … And I love sliced chicken.

–Mo Pitkin’s

Only Perfectly Healthy Pig Asses Went into These Babies

Jewish kid: Are these hot dogs AIDS-free?
Hispanic vendor, defensive: No, ese, no!

–Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: Lynne

So Instead, I Bought Smack

Lady #1: I stopped myself from buying a snack today.
Lady #2: Oh, yeah? And how’d you do that?
Lady #1: I said, ‘Self, don’t buy a snack.’

–Ditmars-bound N train

Overheard by: Carmen

Another Inconvenient Truth

Girl #1: Oh my gosh, we should totally go to Olive Garden. It’s sooo good.
Girl #2: Honestly… Never say that again.

–Times Square

Her Name’s Shannon, I Think?

White teen: Can I get you anything else, sir?
Black man, eating: I don’t mean to sound racist, but can I get me some more of that white meat?

–All Souls Soup Kitchen

Overheard by: phia

Wednesday One-Liners Promote Cavities

Big lady: What!? No snow cones? For shame! For shame, motherfucker.

–Bodega, 31st & 2nd

Overheard by: liza

80-ish woman: When has the proof ever been in the pudding?!

–N train

Mom to kid: What do you want? No candy, so don’t even look down there. Do you want a doughnut?

–Fire Island Ferry Terminal

Girl to frat boy: Uh, yeah, I just wanted to let you know what happened last night. You squirted maple syrup into my eye and my contact fell out! I had to walk home with one eye and syrup in the other!

–Union Square

Overheard by: BSBJ

White boy eating pocky: Now, the most important rule of pocky is this — do not let Asian kids know that you have pocky, because they will rape you for it, and then you will not have anymore pocky.

–Stuyvesant High

Ghetto girl: Tameesha! What? Ain’t nothin’ organic ’bout no fudge!

–The Met Market, 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Unrelenting Monkey

There Are a Lot of Rich, Flaky Girls at Marymount Manhattan

Girl #1, studying for math exam: I still don’t get it.
Girl #2: What I’m saying is that this statement has nothing to do with a croissant coming out of my ass.
Girl #1: Oh, okay.
Girl #2: Yeah, that’s the only way I can remember how to do the problem.

–Marymount Manhattan College

Pimp My Wednesday One-Liners

Guido: You know what it would mean if I drove a Saab? It would mean I have a big dick.

–Sheepshead Bay theater

Overheard by: sprinkles

JAP on cell: Well, if you guys need a ride I need to call Daddy and tell him to bring the Infinity, not the BMW… Wow, that sounded really JAP-y.

–49th, between 8th & 9th

Restaurant flyer guy: Why a Lamborghini costs so much we don’t know, but we do have food!

–96th & 3rd

Overheard by: Drewster

Guy: We either gotta pay the Russian drivers, threaten the Russian drivers, or kill the Russian drivers.

–Financial District

Ghetto lady: That’s the only thing you can do in a van with no air conditioning — sing.

–Maspeth & Metropolitan Ave, Brooklyn

That Would Make You the United Nations

Young man: What I’d do is throw a costumed dinner party and have someone killed at the table.
Young girl: Uh-huh.

–Maiden & William St, Financial District

© 2026 OverheardinNewYork.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist