Lady #1: I stopped myself from buying a snack today.
Lady #2: Oh, yeah? And how’d you do that?
Lady #1: I said, ‘Self, don’t buy a snack.’
–Ditmars-bound N train
Overheard by: Carmen
Lady #1: I stopped myself from buying a snack today.
Lady #2: Oh, yeah? And how’d you do that?
Lady #1: I said, ‘Self, don’t buy a snack.’
–Ditmars-bound N train
Overheard by: Carmen
Girl #1: Oh my gosh, we should totally go to Olive Garden. It’s sooo good.
Girl #2: Honestly… Never say that again.
–Times Square
White teen: Can I get you anything else, sir?
Black man, eating: I don’t mean to sound racist, but can I get me some more of that white meat?
–All Souls Soup Kitchen
Overheard by: phia
Big lady: What!? No snow cones? For shame! For shame, motherfucker.
–Bodega, 31st & 2nd
Overheard by: liza
80-ish woman: When has the proof ever been in the pudding?!
–N train
Mom to kid: What do you want? No candy, so don’t even look down there. Do you want a doughnut?
–Fire Island Ferry Terminal
Girl to frat boy: Uh, yeah, I just wanted to let you know what happened last night. You squirted maple syrup into my eye and my contact fell out! I had to walk home with one eye and syrup in the other!
–Union Square
Overheard by: BSBJ
White boy eating pocky: Now, the most important rule of pocky is this — do not let Asian kids know that you have pocky, because they will rape you for it, and then you will not have anymore pocky.
–Stuyvesant High
Ghetto girl: Tameesha! What? Ain’t nothin’ organic ’bout no fudge!
–The Met Market, 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Unrelenting Monkey
Girl #1, studying for math exam: I still don’t get it.
Girl #2: What I’m saying is that this statement has nothing to do with a croissant coming out of my ass.
Girl #1: Oh, okay.
Girl #2: Yeah, that’s the only way I can remember how to do the problem.
–Marymount Manhattan College
Guido: You know what it would mean if I drove a Saab? It would mean I have a big dick.
–Sheepshead Bay theater
Overheard by: sprinkles
JAP on cell: Well, if you guys need a ride I need to call Daddy and tell him to bring the Infinity, not the BMW… Wow, that sounded really JAP-y.
–49th, between 8th & 9th
Restaurant flyer guy: Why a Lamborghini costs so much we don’t know, but we do have food!
–96th & 3rd
Overheard by: Drewster
Guy: We either gotta pay the Russian drivers, threaten the Russian drivers, or kill the Russian drivers.
–Financial District
Ghetto lady: That’s the only thing you can do in a van with no air conditioning — sing.
–Maspeth & Metropolitan Ave, Brooklyn
Young man: What I’d do is throw a costumed dinner party and have someone killed at the table.
Young girl: Uh-huh.
–Maiden & William St, Financial District
Young woman: Do know anywhere where I can get nuts?
Hot dog vendor: No!
Young woman: Cashews!
–Madison Square Garden
Hobo: Got any change?
Man: No. [Hobo walks away.] You want some of this bread?
Hobo: Naw! I don’t eat that shit!
–3rd & Bleecker
Overheard by: julian
Passionate man: You have to be able to voice your own opinion! Stand up for yourself! You’re the CFO of a four billion dollar company — you have to be able to make these kinds of decisions!
Lady with him, totally baffled: I was just so overwhelmed — I’ve never seen so many different kinds of rice pudding…!
–Outside Rice to Riches, Spring St
Overheard by: leah
