Lucy and Linus Enter the 21st Century

Eight-year-old girl to little brother on bike: Hey, asshole!
Little brother: What? Are you talking to me?
Eight-year-old girl: Yeah, you're annoying me. You're pissin' me off!

–Central Park

Headline by: KateNonymous

Runners-Up:
· “And on That Day, Young Travis Bickle’s Life Took a Turn” – jlp
· “From the Rarely Seen First Episode Of the Donnie and Marie Show.” – Chris L
· “New Yorkers-in-Training” – Oren K
· “Sesame Street Has REALLY Changed” – Bob
· “When Cindy Mistook Her Dad’s Protein Shake for a Milkshake…” – fox

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on March 12, 2019
Anger Management, Boys, Brothers, Central Park, Girls, Headline Contest Winners, Insults, Kids, Sisters

I’ll Get the Mogen Clamp

Girl #1: I like your hair.
Girl #2: It’s the perfect color for a Jewish girl.
Girl #1: But you’re not Jewish.
Girl #2: Not yet.

–3 train

Overheard by: Margot

Posted on March 11, 2019
Compliments, Girls, Hair, Idiots, Judaism, On the Subway, Shiksas (& other Gentiles)

Plus, We Both Like Ice Cream. And the Beatles!

Bimbo #1: Yeah, I really think I like him. We get along so well. I mean, we have a lot in common.
Bimbo #2: Oh yeah? Like what?
Bimbo #1: Well, we both love pugs.
Bimbo #2: As in the type of dog? Everyone loves pugs. How can you not like pugs? They are so fucking cute.
Bimbo #1 (challengingly): Yeah? Well, how about this one? Both of our dads died in plane crashes.
Bimbo #2: Oh. My. God. You are sooo meant to be together.

–Brooklyn Bound N Train

Overheard by: totes meant to be

Posted on March 8, 2019
Bimbettes, Brooklyn, Compliments, Death, Default, Girls, On the Subway, Parents, Relationships, We Love Our Pets, Weirdness

Guy: Not Much, Mom. You?

Chick #1: Hey, you ever been with a guy and then his mom calls, and he, like, picks up?
Chick #2: You mean during sex?!
Chick #1: Yeah.
Chick #2: Hell no!
Chick #1: So, you’ve never been with a Jewish guy, then?

–G train

Overheard by: Kelly Kell

Posted on March 4, 2019
Girls, On the Subway, Questions

It Would Probably Start to Grate

Girl #1: My husband had such a hair across his ass last night. He was getting on my last nerve.
Girl #2: “Hair across his ass”? What do you mean?
Girl #1: You’ve never heard that phrase before? “Hair across his ass”?
Girl #2: No, I haven’t. I don’t get it.
Girl #1: Well Jen, tell me, would you be happy if you had a hair going across your ass?

–Gray’s Papaya, 8th Avenue

Posted on March 1, 2019
Anger Management, Ass, Friends, Girls, Gripes, Hair, Marriage, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Talking/Convos, Words

The Difference Between a Kirstie and a Kardashian

Guy, trying to sneak past chubby girl behind counter: You gettin' fat?
Chubby girl: I ain't fat, I'm a fat-ass. There's a big difference.

–W 103rd St & Broadway

Posted on February 28, 2019
Ass, Compare/Contrast, Diet/Weight, Girls, Guys, Questions, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

That Gets Him to Move from Staring to Touching

A guy is ogling two girls.

Girl #1: Oh, no. What do you do when a Jewish guy won’t stop staring at you?
Girl #2: The sign of the cross.

–Starbucks, Queens

Posted on February 26, 2019
Girls, Queens, Religion

But Not The Tongue Baths

Tall girl: I think I'm part dog.
Short girl: That explains a lot.

–Kings Highway, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Margot

Posted on February 25, 2019
Brooklyn, Comebacks, Girls, Man's Best Friend

Oh, Now I Remember

Girl #1: Yeah, I know what you mean about whoreish action. One of my friends gave this guy head in a stairwell, like, five minutes after she met him!
Girl #2: THAT WAS ME.

–Laguardia HS

Overheard by: Amanda Clarence Fox

Posted on February 21, 2019
BJs, Fast Times at New York High, Girls, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

But It’s a Slippery Slope to Eugenics

Teen girl #1: Whoa, are those apples really all in perfect rows?
Teen girl #2: Whole Foods has really out-yuppied itself this time.

–Whole Foods, Columbus Circle

Posted on February 19, 2019
Fruit, Girls, Grocery Stores, Money & Class, Teens

Girls