Woman #1: Where are you from?
Woman #2: Hong Kong.
Woman #1: What kind of Asia is that? Korea?
–N train
Headline by: Sam K.
Runners-Up:
· “And What Kind Of Alabama Are You From?” – Coyoty
· “Everywhere Like Such As and China” – Caro
· “Her Label Reads “Made in NYC Schools”” – cthonian
· “Is Our Children Learning II: The Adult Years” – Vasyl
· “Now I Fuck You Up Long Time” – Steve
· “The Oriental Kind” – alan b hutscar
· “Why Rosie O’Donnell Shouldn’t Ride the Subway” – Howard Bannister
Bimbette #1, reading subway ad: ‘Sleeping with your baby is dangerous, especially if you drink, use drugs or are overweight.’ Hahaha!
Bimbette #2: I’m pretty sure sleeping with your baby is bad no matter what.
Bimbette #3: Except that in, like, every other country besides the United States everyone sleeps on the floor, like, on their mat, with their baby next to them.
–1 train
Overheard by: inge
Girl: I met this guy last summer… He was French…
Guy: That means he was gay?
–1 train
Overheard by: olga torrey
Hipster #1: Have we had the bar mitzvah conversation yet?
Hipster #2: I thought you were a Mexican?
Hipster #1: I’m Brazilian. And Jewish.
Hipster #2: Are you fucking with me?
–Williamsburg
Security guy: Where you from?
Tourist: Amsterdam.
Security guy, gesturing broadly to the view: This was once all yours!
–Empire State Building
Professor: You should really consider going to Europe. It may be boring, but it’s cheap!
Ghetto girl in back: Fuck that shit! I’d rather go to Disney!
Professor: Europe is actually less expensive to go to than Disney.
Ghetto girl: Yeah, but only if you stay in a brothel!
Ghetto boy: Don’t you mean ‘hostel’?
Ghetto girl: Same thing, right?
–Fordham University-Rose Hill
Overheard by: Megan
Foreign exchange student: So, Claudia, since your boyfriend’s modeling career is taking off, have you thought of ever going abroad?
Latina: Nah, not really.
Foreign exchange student: Well, you could go to London.
Latina: Ohhh, no. I don’t got the time to learn the language.
Foreign exchange student: But Claudia, it’s England — they speak English!
Latina: Well, you know what I mean.
–Fashion Institute of Technology
Diner: That’s an interesting accent. Are you Jamaican?
Waiter: No, I’m from Trinidad.
Diner: Oh! My sister spent a year in Kenya!
Waiter: You know that Trinidad is in the Caribbean, right?
Diner: Oh. No, I guess I didn’t.
–Alice’s Teacup Restaurant, 73rd & Columbus
Charity worker: Help the homeless! [Androgynous person walks by] Even a pretty girl… boy… whatever-that-was can help!
–Times Square
Chick, wistfully: That was Vadim. He was from St. Petersburg. When we broke up he stole all my dresses.
–A train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Large black security guard, inspecting guy’s Sephora bag: You da man!
–Hayden Planetarium
Pierced 20-ish chick: So, the last time I pegged a guy he wouldn’t stop jabbering on and on about how much he loved trannies. It just made me shove in the strap-on harder.
–Delancey & Orchard
Overheard by: Californian
Guy: I sirred a ma’am today. But, in my defense, she was a very sir-able ma’am.
–33rd & Broadway
Suit during presentation: We are a global company with a tremendous reach-around.
–810 7th Ave
Overheard by: Jatmos
Barista gesturing to fridge: Hey! Milk me!
–Coffee shop
Professor: It’s hard to sit there for two hours without a climax.
–NYU
Overheard by: woods comma elle
Teacher, on oral quizzes: … And if you can satisfy me orally, you will receive a good grade.
–The Dalton School
Overheard by: Marissa
