Crazy Jamaican lady preacher: Jesus died to save your sins!
Angry white man: Yeah, he also died so you’d shut the fuck up!
Crazy Jamaican lady preacher, later: It is not too late to repent!
Angry white man: It’s not too late for you to get off the fuckin’ train, either!
–D train
Overheard by: Mike
Dude #1: The Japanese can’t be that racist!
Dude #2: All I’m saying is, drop another couple of nukes on them and they’re still going to hate the blacks.
–Eastchester & Morris Park, Bronx
Old lady: Move! Move, move, move! Get out of my way!
Suit: Say, ‘Excuse me’! God, it’s called manners!
Old lady: I did say excuse me! Now move!
12-year-old thug: Fight! Oooh, fight! They gon’ fight!
–1 train
Kid #1: Seriously?
Kid #2: Yeah, seriously.
Kid #1: Seriously?!
Kid #2: Yes, seriously.
Kid #1: Seriously?
Kid #2: Yes! Seriously! Gosh, you’re acting like SpongeBob!
–St. Catherine’s Elementary, Brooklyn
Overheard by: rpk
Headline by: Rock Bottom
Runners-Up:
· “…or Alberto Gonzalez under Oath.” – JC
· “Actual Script from Laguna Beach” – Jeremy
· “Dude, You’ve Been Watching Too Much SquarePant’s Anatomy” – Breanne S.
· “How Serious Can Spongebob Be If Spongebob Could Be Serious?” – Philip
· “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter – Test Campaign #34” – Paul Sheiman
30-ish man: I’m getting fat and going bald. These are the number one and number two things that men fear.
30-ish lady: What about impotence and gay?
30-ish man: Okay, then — numbers three and four.
–70th & Broadway
Old lady in wheelchair: Where are we going?!
Middle-aged son: Don’t worry, we’re getting there.
Old lady in wheelchair: All I can see is asses!
–Subway station, Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: meeples
Tourist kid looking at digital camera, whining: She took a picture of me sleeping!
Tourist mom: You erase it and you die!
–6 train
Tourist teen with new Uggs: Ma, can I wear these out of the store? Please?
Tourist mom: Are you fucking insane? Do you want them to be black in this filthy place? I just paid a hundred and fifty bucks for those. Take your feet out of them and don’t stick them back in until we get back to Michigan.
–David Z, 5th Ave
Overheard by: nicole h.
