Girl: If I were a lesbian, I’d totally go for her!
Guy: Who?
Girl: Priscilla! Well…I mean, if she weren’t my sister.
–M23 Bus
Overheard by: Claire
Girl: If I were a lesbian, I’d totally go for her!
Guy: Who?
Girl: Priscilla! Well…I mean, if she weren’t my sister.
–M23 Bus
Overheard by: Claire
Guy #1: Shut up! Why are you so obsessed with sombreros? Every time I talk to you it’s sombreros, sombreros, sombreros!
Guy #2: Isn’t this, like, the first time we’ve ever talked?
Guy #1: Yeah, and it’s about sombreros, isn’t it?
–NYU
Guy #1: What’s up with all these storms and tornadoes?
Guy #2: God is coming soon.
Guy #1: I know, but ….
–Campus Rd, Brooklyn College
Overheard by: shemah
Teen girl: I’m not saying I wish I had a penis. It would just be nice to be able to pee standing up.
Teen guy: Peeing standing up is a lot like eating grapefruit… One wrong move, and you could squirt yourself in the eye.
Teen girl: Oh my god… seriously?
–Famous Original Ray’s Pizza, 7th Ave
Chick: Wait, so he was the black dude from Tennessee on the debate team that you were talking to?
Dude: Yeah. Well, no. He was normal.
Chick: What do you mean?
Dude: He was white.
–Soho
Overheard by: drunk at the bar
Guy #1: So we went to a baptism yesterday.
Guy #2: Wait, you’re Catholic. Not Baptism. I’m Baptism.
Guy #1: You’re Baptist.
–Times Square
Guy: Excuse me, miss. Excuse me. Excuse me! Woman, move!
Girl: Dude, I’m not a tourist.
Guy: Oh. Sorry.
–59th St & Lex
Cop, taking report of stolen car: Ok, what was the color, make and model?
Metro Guy: It’s cranberry and…
Cop: Cranberry’s something you eat, son, your car was red.
–L.I.C.
Overheard by: Jatmos
Chick: We missed our stop.
Guy: You slept right through it.
Chick: Why didn’t you wake me up?
Guy: I tried, you wouldn’t wake up. You just showed me your pussy.
Chick: That sounds like me.
–N train
Overheard by: shewuzshaved
Dude #1: If I was the last man on earth, I would die of exhaustion from banging too much!
Dude #2: If I was the last man on earth, I’d die of AIDS from banging too much.
–Battery Park
Overheard by: Rich
Headline by: Syd O
Runners-Up:
· “And his guidance counselor said he wasn’t goal oriented…” – Marc
· “Apparently the apocalypse is a lot like New York in the 80s.” – julian
· “But as long as there’s even one other man left, they’re both safe” – Not buying it
· “Either Way, He’d Be Fucked!” – Hobo Whisperer
· “How is that any different then now.” – Kaleena
· “If you were the last man on earth, we’d all be lesbians” – Tam
· “If I’m goin’ everyone else is coming with me” – Botticus
· “If you were the last man on earth, I’d die from banging my head against a wall” – Becky
· “It’s a catch simplex 2.” – Vin
· “Oh yeah? If I were the last man on Earth, I’d die of whatever killed the other guys!” – Chris
· “Only After All the Batteries Are Gone” – Lush
· “The Planet Of All Women Drivers, I Know How I Would Die” – berger inferno
