Little girl: Mommy, I have a headache.
Mom: Well, maybe we should just get you some sake.
Little girl: What?
Mom: I mean tea. Hot tea.
–Grey’s Art Museum
Little girl: Mommy, I have a headache.
Mom: Well, maybe we should just get you some sake.
Little girl: What?
Mom: I mean tea. Hot tea.
–Grey’s Art Museum
Girl #1: Oh, look, they have yoga.
Girl #2: Yeah, but it’s all ‘Breathe in, breathe out.’ I hate that shit.
–Shake Shack line, Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Jacqui
Black woman with baby carriage to people trying to push in: What’s the matter with you mothafuckahs? Are the goddamn stairs broken?
Old black man: You take the stairs, bitch! I’m a veteran! I fought for my goddamn country, and now you won’t make room for me in a goddamn elevator?! [Doors close, leaving old black man out.]Black woman with baby carriage: Fuck his old ass. Women and children first.
–Civil Court, 141 Livingston St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Big Larry
Girl #1: Oh my god, my roommate is so weird. She keeps farting, but I don’t smell anything.
Girl #2: She must be anorexic.
Girl #1: True! I didn’t think of that. I’m so glad I’m friends with someone that got a scholarship!
–Starbucks, 51st & Broadway
Overheard by: Or she’s bullemic.
Teen daughter: So, is this what you saw?
Mother: What?
Teen daughter: Is this what you saw when you took estrogen?
–Summer of Love: Art of the Psychedelic Era, Whitney Museum
Overheard by: flowerchild
Asian chick: … And that’s the bar where I got roofied.
White chick: You didn’t get roofied! You got food poisoning!
Asian chick: Yeah, I know, but it doesn’t make for as good a story.
–W 4th & 6th
Guy #1: I’ll be up in a minute. I’m just gonna have a smoke.
Guy #2, on speakerphone: Yo, I feel great!
Guy #1: Wait, so you’re not injured?
Guy #2: No, I have three screws in my leg… but no one’s getting arrested!
–Outside Lutheran Hospital
Overheard by: J-Dawg
Blonde WASP: Yeah, and Kristen’s hot!
Brunette WASP: But only once you get to know her…
Blonde WASP: Yeah, you’re totally right… She kinda looks like Marilyn Manson.
Brunette WASP: Oh my god, it’s true! But in a hot way.
Blonde WASP, later on: He totally had to get a septuplet bypass.
Brunette WASP: That sounds so bad.
Blonde WASP: Yeah, they take veins from your leg! He was so fat.
–N train
Overheard by: JayTro
Young queer #1: I’m getting my tonsils out the day after next.
Young queer #2: Girlfriend, you’d better suck some dicks before then!
–14th & 8th
Chick #1: God, we look so wasted, baked…
Chick #2: Your face is sooo red.
Chick #3: It kind of matches your eyes, though — like you’re blushing a lot.
–Restroom, Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: tanechka
