Guard dude #1: There’s a guy over there touching himself again.
Guard dude #2: What, the same one as before?
Guard dude #1: Yeah.
–New York Public Library Main Branch, 42th & 5th
Overheard by: Rob
Guard dude #1: There’s a guy over there touching himself again.
Guard dude #2: What, the same one as before?
Guard dude #1: Yeah.
–New York Public Library Main Branch, 42th & 5th
Overheard by: Rob
Bank teller: What state was your account opened in?
Customer: Brooklyn.
–59th & Lex
Overheard by: Captain Finance
Bimbo: I’d put on a sweater and baggy pants, and everyone would be like, “Wow, that’s so Margello!”
–Ave A & 3rd St.
Chick: Does India have internet access?
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: pixelvisions
Dim bulb: I’d say the odds are pretty good. At least fifty-fifty.
Dimmer bulb: No, they’re not that good. More like forty-forty.
–6th Ave
Overheard by: Emilio Lizardo
Dude: What’s that movie — the one with the ghosts on the ship?
Chick: Ghost Ship?
Dude: Maybe.
–Kingsborough Community College
Overheard by: Lotte
30-something ramper: So, Gerald Ford died, huh?
20-something ramper: Who’s he?
30-something ramper: A president of the United States, you dummy.
30-something ramper: Oh, he was that Bay of Pigs guy, wasn’t he?
–Ramp breakroom, LaGuardia
Conductor, over speaker: Excuse me, young lady in the pink shirt. Stop holding the door!
Someone else wearing a pink shirt: But I’m not!
–E train
Frustrated looking suit: Okay, well, how about the duck? It looks good.
Vapid looking hottie: I told you! I do not eat seafood!
–Gramercy Tavern, Union Square
Girl #1: So he told me that no matter what happens on June 31st, he will come to my house and we’ll discuss our wedding.
Girl #2: I wish my boyfriend would be there for me.
Girl #1: It sounds nice, doesn’t it? Except there is no 31st of June.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Ting
Catholic schoolgirl: I am so mature! I’m gonna be 16 soon. That means I can drive.
Boyfriend: That’s awesome.
Catholic schoolgirl: How many months is that in?
Boyfriend: I dunno…
Catholic schoolgirl: Let’s see…June, July, August, September, November…December? No, that’s not right…January, February, April, May…
–N train
Overheard by: Olga Kogan
