Loser: You know what’s funny? I’m actually more creative when I have thumbnails.
Artist (overhearing him, under her breath): Then you’re not that creative.
–Holiday Markets, Union Square
Loser: You know what’s funny? I’m actually more creative when I have thumbnails.
Artist (overhearing him, under her breath): Then you’re not that creative.
–Holiday Markets, Union Square
Lesbian #1: The G train always takes so long between stops, especially since it’s not going in a tunnel.
Lesbian #2: But it does go through a tunnel.
Lesbian #1: Yeah, but I mean a tunnel under water.
Lesbian #2: Oh, yeah, okay, it’s not going under water.
Lesbian #1: I always wondered how they make those tunnels.
Lesbian #2: They have one of those machines, that goes in circles.
Lesbian #1: Oh, okay…
Lesbian #2: You know, the one that goes in circles really quickly?
Lesbian #1: Yeah… [Pause] But when they build the tunnel in the water, does it go in the water, or under the water?
Lesbian #2: Under the water.
Lesbian #1: Oh, right.
–G train
Cashier in Jack’s 99 Cent store: Here’s your change, 62-cents
Woman: But I just gave you $62, and since everything here costs $1, how come you’re giving me 62 cents back?
Cashier: Everything here is 99-cents
Woman: Really?
Cashier: Yeah
— Jack’s 99-Cent Store, Midtown
Overweight woman: “I honesty think there must be a shortage of fabric or material because all shirts are baby tees and all pants are to small and low on the hips, I dont get it”
— Manhattan
Woman upon seeing a Mariachi band walk by: Why do they have tambourines on their legs?
— Manhattan
Woman (night of the New Hampshire primary): KERRY WON!!!!
Friend: What, American Idol?
— Manhattan
Guy: If you’re a cokehead you can really climb the corporate ladder. That’s all those guys making six figures.
Girl: It’s in American Psycho.
Guy: Then they burn out and the new guys come in.
–Lakeside Lounge, Ave. B
Male Employee: No, that’s hemophilia. Hypoglycemia is, like, when your
body produces more sugar than your system can handle.
Female Employee: Yeah! That’s me!
–Lord & Taylor
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Twit: What’s that song Richard Marx sang?
Chick: Right Here Waiting.
Twit: There’s another one.
Chick: I don’t know.
Twit: It’s going to drive me crazy until I remember. Oh wait! I know! Right Here Waiting for You!
Chick: That’s the same song.
–Winnie’s, Chinatown
Yuppie: We shouldn’t be using our brains to simulate monkeys.
–Broadway & 72nd
