NYU guy #1: Do you think if the crane falls on us I can get an extension on my midterm?
NYU guy #2: Definitely, man.
–3rd Ave & 14th St
NYU guy #1: Do you think if the crane falls on us I can get an extension on my midterm?
NYU guy #2: Definitely, man.
–3rd Ave & 14th St
Construction worker #1: Braille really trips me out.
Construction worker #2: I know. Me, too.
Construction worker #1: Do you think they have different fonts?
–21st St & Park Ave
Female suit #1: So, last night I was on this website…
Female suit #2, eagerly: Was it MySpace?
Female suit #1: No, it was Smatchy.
Female suit #2, disappointed: Oh…
Female suit #1: What’s wrong?
Female suit #2: I’ve been taking these clairvoyance classes, but I don’t think they’re working.
–L train
Woman: And you know what’s worse?
Man: What?
Woman: All the demons are male. Always. I mean, how unfair is that? It’s fucking retarded.
–B75 bus
Dude #1: Mel Gibson is making movies?
Dude #2: Is he the guy who invented Jesus?
–13th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Dean
Angry black lady: I’m gonna 69 that motherfucker!
Friend: What?!
Angry black lady: I mean, 68 or 67 or… I dunno. Star 67! That way the bitch won’t know it’s me callin’.
–City Hall Park
Overheard by: This is what makes New York City so great
Woman #1: It’s hot as Haiti in this store.
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: Isn’t it supposed to be hot there?
Woman #2: I think you mean ‘Hades.’
Woman #1: No. It’s a place in the Caribbean.
–Banana Republic, 42nd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Not Haitian
Middle-aged Long Island lady thumbing through magazine: Look, there’s Stephen Colbert.
Husband: Who’s that?
Middle-aged Long Island lady: He’s a terrific Republican reporter on TV. You should watch him. He’s really great. Puts the liberals in their place.
–JFK
Overheard by: djeremy
Bleached blonde with lots of facial jewelry #1: So I signed up for the police exam.
Bleached blonde with lots of facial jewelry #2: Really?
Blonde #1: Yeah, can you fuckin’ imagine me as a fuckin’ cop? All you have to do, though, is pass some fucking test, and then it’s good for four years. So if I decide I don’t want to be a teacher four years from now, I can just go be a cop.
Blonde #2: Wow, there’s no drug test?
Blonde #1: Yeah, but you can get a stick and put bleach on it and then piss on the stick when you take the test, and it kills all that shit.
Blonde #2: Really?
Blonde #1: Yeah, that’s what I heard.
Blonde #2: Well, don’t they watch you or search you or something?
Blonde #1: Well, maybe, but in that case you can just do a shot of bleach before you take the test. That will clean you out.
Blonde #2: Wow, I don’t think I want to do a shot of bleach.
Blonde #1: I know — that shit’s scary, right?!
–4 train, Fulton St
Overheard by: I think arsenic works too
Woman #1: Have you tried Lichido?
Woman #2: Is that a new kind of karate or something?
Woman #1: It’s a liquor.
Woman #2: Don’t you mean ‘kicker’?
Woman #1: Why do I talk to you?
–Astor Wines & Spirits, Astor Pl
