Skinny blonde girl: So, was she Jewish?
20-something guy: No, she couldn’t have been. She was wearing pants.
–1st Ave & 13th St
Overheard by: I hate that I know this kid.
Skinny blonde girl: So, was she Jewish?
20-something guy: No, she couldn’t have been. She was wearing pants.
–1st Ave & 13th St
Overheard by: I hate that I know this kid.
Smart girl #1: I didn’t know Lady Sovereign was white.
Smart girl #2: She’s not white, she’s British.
–Virgin Records
Flight attendant on intercom: If you need any additional lighting, just reach up and press the grey button above your seat.
Passenger presses the ‘Call attendant’ button.
Flight attendant: That wasn’t the grey button.
–JFK
Guy #1 looking at picture of Santa Claus 3: Dude, that’s Aquaman!
Guy #2: No, that’s Jack Frost.
Guy #1: No, it totally looks like Aquaman.
Guy #2: No, it doesn’t!
Guy #1: It’s gotta be him.
Guy #2: Why would Santa Claus be fighting Aquaman? Why the hell would he be fighting Aquaman?
–4th floor Hunter North, Hunter College
Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie
Guy: On TV she looks just like Michael Jackson!
Chick: Who?
Guy: Oprah!
–Flatbush Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: fshk
Chick #1: I gotta read this book for class, and I don’t want to.
Chick #2: Oh, I hate that shit. I hate having to read shit I hate.
Chick #1: I know! I don’t want to read it! I don’t get the book, I don’t understand it — it’s stupid!
Chick #2: What book you gotta read?
Chick #1: I don’t know, it’s called, like, Increasin’ Your Brain Power or something.
–E train
Overheard by: August Galifi
Prep chick: Is it amoebas that come from Mexico? Or am I thinking of armadillos?
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Francesca
White teen girl: So, is there a Friday next week?
–4 train
Overheard by: Gregorio
Girlfriend: If your friends told you to jump down a bridge, would you do it?
–D train, Grand Concourse
Suit to black gangster holding large chameleon: Excuse me, sir. What species of dinosaur is that?
–Manhattan-bound F train
Overheard by: Josh
Teen: So how much would the game cost if it was $17.99?
–Game Stop, Forest Hills
Future zoologist: They have sea lions here! They’re like lions — from the sea!
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: Andrew K.
Girl #1: Hey, so I went to that sushi place you told me to go to last night, and I got food poisoning!
Girl #2: Oh. Hey, you went there? How was it?
Girl #1: I got food poisoning.
Girl #2: Yeah, but how was it before the vomiting set in?
–Ameritania Hotel
Ditzy tween: Wait, what? Isn’t your dad in prison?
Friend: Um… No…
Ditzy tween: Isn’t that what you told me? Or maybe it was your uncle?
Friend: Nobody I know is in prison.
–Bus
Overheard by: if i had a nickle…
