Long Island mother: It’s so sad about the kidnapped Israeli solider.
8-year-old son: Yeah, when are they going to send Jack Bauer into Gaza to save him?
–40th & 8th
Overheard by: jewish boy
Long Island mother: It’s so sad about the kidnapped Israeli solider.
8-year-old son: Yeah, when are they going to send Jack Bauer into Gaza to save him?
–40th & 8th
Overheard by: jewish boy
Dad: How old are you?
Teen boy: Thirteen.
Dad: How old are you?
Mom: You know he’s thirteen.
Dad: It says here that if you’re eleven or younger, you get in free… How old are you?
Teen: Oh. Eleven.
–Roxy Deli
Overheard by: Kelsey
Headline by: Tom Dorey
Runners-Up:
· “And Don’t Forget, Your Mom’s Your Grandma And She Got That Black Eye Playing Bingo” – Kate
· “And it’s cheaper than regression therapy” – Kim
· “But He is 19 on Myspace” – DanC
· “Good Answer. Now Give Me $10 For Your Mother And Me.” – Hobo Whisperer
· “Good…now go shave your balls.” – Colin
· “If Your Mom Hadn’t Lied About her Age, You WOuldn’t Be Here Now” – Jason
· “Sorry, Not Applicable to Jews” – djingo
· “Still paying down the debt from Dad’s mid-life crisis” – Allison
· “You Know What I Like Better Than Welfare Checks? Nothing.” – Amos
· “You know I only get paid for sending them pre-teens” – kasey
Little boy, to passerby: That’s why I ejaculated in your mom’s nose!
–Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Chick: See, I don’t like the idea of drinking semen not directly from the cock.
–Harlem
Overheard by: McN
Mother: Kasey! Get away from the street! Those cabs will run right over you!
Kasey: But Dad is almost in the road!
Mother: Do you think I care what your father does??
–48th & 8th
Overheard by: jenn
Guy: That kid just pulled up the mannequin’s skirt and copped a feel!
Kid’s mother pulls down the mannequin’s skirt.
Kid: NOOOOOOO!!
–Shake Shack, Madison Square Park
Mother: Katie, why did you punch Audrey?
Young girl: Um, because she didn’t want to fight with me.
–15th St & Prospect Park West, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Gary Wax
Dad: Wash your hands
Little boy: I don’t have to. I didn’t touch anything.
Dad: You touched yourself.
–Yankee Stadium Men’s Room
Overheard by: Jersey Guy
Child: Mommy, what’s that smell?
Mother: That’s the city, honey.
–44th & 8th
Father: This is what the brain looks like. It’s the least used part of the human body.
Wide-Eyed daughter: Really?
Father: It sure seems that way sometimes, doesn’t it?
–Bodies Exhibit, South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Brownsvillegirl
Kid: So my mom bought some 100-calorie packs of Oreos because she thought that they were just small in size, but it turns out that they have no cream.
Girl: Aw, that’s so cute. I love your mom.
Kid: It’s not cute. She cried.
–Grand Central
