Mom: Honey, don’t go that far! You’re making me nervous!
Boy: Mom, I never get kidnapped! [Keeps walking away] God!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Cappy
Mom: Honey, don’t go that far! You’re making me nervous!
Boy: Mom, I never get kidnapped! [Keeps walking away] God!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Cappy
Little girl, reading children’s book aloud: Mariko is Japanese. She eats sushi.
Mom: But we know that [pointing to picture] is actually sashimi.
–M86 bus
Overheard by: Caitlin
Man: It was nice to meet you. Now will you shake my hand?
Little boy: No.
Man: Why not?
Little boy: Because she gave you her number, but she already has a boyfriend! I don’t like that.
Woman: Shut up. That’s not true.
Little boy: If it isn’t, then why did it say “Jason and Trish, together forever” on your phone, when I turned it on right now?
Woman: Together forever, my ass; now shut up!
–Q37 bus, Liberty Ave
Grandma: Now, your daddy didn’t come out of my vagina. He was sideways, so he couldn’t come out of my vagina. His body couldn’t fit out of my vagina.
4 year old: Oh.
–Bodies exhibit, South Street Seaport
Mother: Don’t you ever do that again! [slaps child hard]Child, calmly: Well, are you happy with yourself?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Miranda
Little girl: Ew, Daddy, it smells like Jersey over here.
Dad: I know, sweetie.
–30th St
Overheard by: Kate
Thug: …’cause most doctors will tell you, most doctors will actually tell you that a little marijuana is good for the baby.
Pregnant girlfriend: Really?
–14th St
Overheard by: Rationalization Whiplash
Mother, to little girl: Hold on to the pole, honey, but keep your tongue away from it. It’s filthy!
–Downtown 2/3 train
Overheard by: Chad
Father, to five-year-old son: No, Jake, don’t eat the watch…Time flies, but it doesn’t taste good.
–Metro-North train
Overheard by: derkach
Mother, to little girl in line for security X-ray machine: Take your muffin outta the box. If it goes through the machine, it’ll give you radiation.
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: Reluctant Traveler
Father, to crying son: Yeah yeah, life’s a disappointment.
–78th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: someone who agrees
Tourist mom, to kids: Walk or die! Walk or die! Walk or die!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Scott
Old white lady, to little Hispanic girl: You’re always tan…Everyone wants to be tan.
–Queens bound E train
Overheard by: Julz
Little kid: But what if we don’t have enough money?
Mother: And that’s the reason why you need to keep your four-year-old concerns to your damn self.
–Dekalb & South Portland, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Zoe
Little girl #1: …and their eyes became red and they started laughing at random things!
Little girl #2: Hahaha. Let’s get out of here!
Both girls run away, laughing, down the street.
–Henry & Orange, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: CapitalJ
