Suit #1: Dude, she’s pregnant.
Suit #2: Holy shit. No way. What are you gonna do?
Suit #1: I have no idea.
Suit #2: You have to make her have an abortion.
Suit #1: It’s her decision; I can’t make her have an abortion.
Suit #2: Dude, you’re an attorney — you can make her do anything you want. And if she doesn’t agree, you know there are ways to threaten her into doing it.
Suit #1, in amazement: Where the hell did you go to law school?
–53rd & Lex
Overheard by: I hope he didn’t pass Legal Ethics
Guy #1: So how are you liking law school?
Guy #2: It’s really satisfying.
Guy #1: Yeah?
Guy #2: Yeah, its like a bong hit of knowledge every day.
–Lower East Side
Overheard by: Ashir
Law student #1: So where you going after the test?
Law student #2: I’m going to East Africa for 2 months. Last time I was there, they made me an honorary Maori tribesman.
Law student #1: Wow, you’ve gotta be the first gay, white honorary Maori tribesman ever.
Law student #2: Yeah, or at least one of the first 5.
–Bar exam line, Javits Center
Overheard by: AP
Guy on cell: And you got the vampires from where?
–21st & 9th
Rich young woman: She’s a big-time lawyer. You wouldn’t know her name or anything, but she’s got an office in Rochester, and one in the Twin Towers.
–Metro-North train, Grand Central
Female lawyer: So what nationality are you?
Male lawyer: Scandinavian.
Female lawyer: Cool…. Where is Scandinavia?
Male lawyer shakes head and walks away.
–1st precinct
Overheard by: crackerjack
Mother: You know that she has learning disabilities, right? You know what it means when someone has a learning disability?
Eight-year-old girl: I should get myself a lawyer. No one ever tells me anything.
–1 train from 86th
Overheard by: David Lock
Dude: So you gonna give me some fuckin’ money? Give me some fuckin money! I don’t have two quarters to rub together; I can’t
even call my wife. Give me some fuckin’ money!
Lawyer man: I’m not going to give you any money.
Dude: Give me some fuckin’ money! You are my sister! I have no money!
Woman: I’m not giving you any money when you are acting like a criminal.
Restaurant guy: Sir, you need to calm down or I will have to call the police.
Dude: Don’t tell me what to fucking do. I just got out of Rikers Island!
Restaurant guy: Well sir, do you want to go back there? You need to leave or take the conversation outside.
–Pasta Lovers, Kew Gardens
Overheard by: Amanda
Chick #1: So how did your trial go?
Chick #2: It went well, it went my way.
Chick #1: That’s great.
Chick #2: Yeah. The guy was actually nice; well, he was listed as a violent felon, but…
Chick #1: A nice violent felon?
Chick #2: Ha, ha…yeah. He tried to play the “my 88 year old dad and my wife and kids are here, I’m in rehab trying to clean up my life” card. But I put him on the stand for the whole day and caught him in all these lies.
–Broadway & 13th
Lady lawyer: You look like a lot of my cousins, you know.
Boy attorney #1: Are they models?
Boy attorney #2: Yeah, leg brace models!
–Office, 45th & 5th
Law chick #1: I assume you passed the corporate accounting exam?
Law guy: Yeah, somehow. I couldn’t get the balance sheet to add up so I just added $130,000 in cash to assets to make it balance. It was a total Hail Mary but it worked…Wait, can you do a Hail Mary at a Jewish law school?
Law chick #2: Sure you can. There’s less interference.
–Cardozo School of Law, 12th & 5th
