Girl #1: So, I think I’m gonna name my kid Senator. Isn’t that great? I’m going to name him Senator, but he won’t have to ever aspire to anything. Imagine in, like, third grade: Senator Nelson!
Girl #2: Ha, ha! I think I want to name my kid Does.
Girl #1: Would you spell it D-o-e-s?
Girl #2: Yeah, totally. Isn’t that a great name?
Girl #1: I’m going to have either a kid or a monkey named Chimapate.
–3rd & B
Overheard by: Jenya
Store girl: “Fraternity test”?
Store guy: I’ve been saying it that way all these years.
–K-mart, East 8th Street
Hobo #1: What flavors you got?
Clerk guy: We have regular, orange, raspberry, and vanilla.
Hobo #1: We’ll take vanilla.
Hobo #2: Vanilla? What are you, gay?
–Nizga Liquors, Avenue A
Overheard by: A. Sterling
Chick on cell: Mother! That duvet situation is a complete nightmare!
–59th & Madison
Old woman: I was only a bridesmaid once, and the dresses were just impossible. The color was this menopause blue!
–Jojo, East 64th Street
Overheard by: Molly the Mole
Girl #1: I have to go soon, I have a child at home.
Girl #2: Oh, an undead abortion?
–Hi Fi, Avenue A
Girl #1: What’s an animal that sleeps for a long time?
Girl #2: A dead baby. You’ll sleep like a dead baby.
–Grand Hyatt New York, Park Avenye
Overheard by: Dann
Girl #1: I never realized how nice his back was until we broke up.
Girl #2: As he was walking away from you?
–Stuyvesant & 3rd
Overheard by: katyunextraordinaire
Girl on cell: I cannot believe you just said that! I can’t tell my roommate…Because she’s Indian!
Girl #2: What can’t you tell her?
Girl on cell: Shh.
Girl #2: Probably outsourcing.
–Starbucks, West 4th Street & Washington Square East
Jessica Cutler: Twelve of my last sixteen boyfriends were Jewish.
–Happy Ending, Broome Street
