Woman: See? She is a good dog!
Child: Except when she eats her own poop.
–Carmine & Varick
Overheard by: Marcy
Woman: See? She is a good dog!
Child: Except when she eats her own poop.
–Carmine & Varick
Overheard by: Marcy
Hobo to dog: I can’t believe she swallowed my cum!
–69th & Columbus
Big, black man to small, white, yappy dog: Yeah, yeah, we know you’re badass.
–W 146th & St. Nick’s
UES lady to her pup chasing a mouse: Sweetie, don’t! I just brushed your teeth.
–UES
Overheard by: asaf
Hobo to small white dog: Gimme all yo’ money!
–Burger King, 42nd St, between 8th & 9th
Guy to muzzled Pit Bull: It’s your fault, not mine, that you’re wearing that!
–11th & University
Lady to her dog barking at Hispanic maintenance guy: Quiet or you will have a time out!
–UES
Little girl in stroller to dog: Hi, Mister Puppy! Where are your pants?!
–Outside Brooklyn Botanical Garden
Overheard by: cara
Boyfriend: I wish I had a dog.
Girlfriend: I wish I were a dog.
–Union Square
Overheard by: arctinus
Teen girl #1: I hate riding in her car.
Teen girl #2: I know! It smells like dog, and then you look like dog.
–Bushwick
Overheard by: -|
Man with kid: So, that day I was holding my dog and walking down the stairs when all of a sudden I just fell… And guess what?! My dog landed flat on my face! His ass was on my face! His ass!
Friend: Ummm…
–Springfield, Queens
Cop to old lady with walker: Excuse me, miss, do you have a license and insurance for that thing?
–57th St
Overheard by: jesse
Black teen to fellow commuter: So, I get off the train and I find this cop. He says to me, ‘Do I know you?’ ‘No, man.’ Then he asks, ‘Haven’t I arrested you before?’ And I say, ‘Nigga, please! No!’
–E train near W 4th St
Mounted police officer holding a pay phone and sobbing: Please, Mom, I’ll do anything!
–8th & 5th
Overheard by: jewish girl
Professor, about police sirens blaring outside: They’re playing our song.
–Columbia University
Large black lady hissing about a police dog sniffing and following black guy: That dog be racial profilin’! He’s a racist! That cop dog’s a racist!
–Subway station, Times Square
Chick to cop writing ticket, standing next to the naked cowboy: Can you give him a ticket for having a bubble butt?
–Times Square
Overheard by: knipc
Girl #1: What do you mean I’m ‘the cutest thing ever’? I’m 21! What am I, a puppy?!
Girl #2: All I meant was you wear colorful clothes and smile a lot!
–Urban Outfitters
Overheard by: Abram
Hobo: Hey, doggie. Come here, doggie. Hey, hey, doggie. Come over here.
Woman, pulling dog away on leash: Come, Mikey! Come on!
Hobo, to passerby: You see that? Fuckin’ racist don’t want me touchin’ her dog ’cause I’m fuckin’ black!
Teen passerby: No, sir, it’s because you are homeless.
Hobo: Oh. Well, yeah. There’s that.
–Clinton & Montague, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Mike N
Dude: So, how’s Chin Chin doing?
Girl: Oh, pretty good. She just got over that whole vaginal discharge thing. [Awkward silence.]Dude, to another girl: Chin Chin is her dog, by the way.
–NYU dorm elevator
Overheard by: valerie
Woman on cell: So, the doctor tells me to get on the table. He could’ve told me to get on the table and be a dog and I would’ve hopped on there and went, ‘Bow-wow, motherfuck.’
–6 train
Overheard by: SilentButDeadly
Young girl to mother: Do you think I’m a dog? I’ll tell you if I am.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: vm
30-ish woman: Tom’s* ass, to me, is like a steak to a sleeping dog… Rrruff!
–34th & 5th
Overheard by: hungry dog
Big black man: My friend is looking for people to sell cocaine for him. He figured out this great way to get around the dogs — they’re scared of bigger animals, so he puts all his drugs in bull shit.
–Bus, Broadway
Overheard by: lora
Dude: Are those things dogs or are those things people?
–Union Square
Overheard by: The Baron
Checkout chick: So, that’s my dilemma — do I spend my tax refund on a chihuahua or a Master’s degree?
–Warehouse Wines, 770 Broadway
Overheard by: Jamie
