Four-year-old #1: Ice cream makes your head fall off.
Four-year-old #2: No, it doesn’t.
Four-year-old #1: It was just an expression, asshole.
Four-year-old #2, to his dog: Don’t let him pet you.
–Central Park
Overheard by: amused tourist
Four-year-old #1: Ice cream makes your head fall off.
Four-year-old #2: No, it doesn’t.
Four-year-old #1: It was just an expression, asshole.
Four-year-old #2, to his dog: Don’t let him pet you.
–Central Park
Overheard by: amused tourist
Chick: I wanna get me one of those, like, silent dogs?
Guy: It'll probably be a sneaky dog.
–1 Train
Overheard by: de kraai
Chris Noth: I talked to her for 10 minutes and figured out she was crazy.
–15th & Irving
Overheard by: Ameha Beyene
Hispanic dude, about large Pitbull: Yo, this nigga is the one! I'ma take this nigga home with me!
Girlfriend, about adjacent dog: I like this one!
Hispanic dude: Bitch, fuck you! I'ma take the dog and leave you here! Put you in the dog cage, take this nigga home!
–Animal Care and Control, Adoptable Dog Ward
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Frustrated stylist on computer: How do you spell "Google"?
–Dramatics Hair Salon
Hot Asian woman: She hasn't even posted her face on Facebook!
–88th & 2nd
Overheard by: Sam H.
Teen to friend: My mom still hasn't Facebooked me back about taking care of my dog.
–Bedford Ave
Overheard by: kayt
Sorority girl: Like…oh my god. We should write about ourselves on Juicy Campus and see what other people say.
–Classroom, NYU
Overheard by: Angela
Middle-aged janitor: You've got to try that internet! It has everything!
–MoMA
Overheard by: Cristina
Tall girl: I think I'm part dog.
Short girl: That explains a lot.
–Kings Highway, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Margot
Woman #1: It was so funny. I mean I was talking to the horse in English, and the horse didn’t understand a fucking word I said.
Woman #2: It was a Spanish horse.
Woman #1: Even their dogs, they didn’t understand English. I don’t get that.
–QM2 bus
Overheard by: i’m mr.ed
Girlfriend: He's not, like, the ideal tenant, know what I mean?
Boyfriend: Yeah, I know.
Girlfriend, to pooping bulldog: Sit! God, you're such an ass! Sit!
–9th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Tom Fickle
Salesperson to customer with small dog: You know that we now have pet products?
Customer: Yes, he's using them already.
Salesperson: Oh, he looks great!
–Kiehls, 3rd Ave & 13th St
Overheard by: David Feldman
Clerk: Man, people stink. That’s why I’m saying, ‘You want a friend, get a dog. Name it Chico. Only thing Chico won’t do for you is open his own can of dog food.’
–Duane Reade
Black guy to friend: Man, what you gotta do is you gotta go down to the dog track and get it poppin’ with those extreme titties!
–Bar, 5th Ave, Park Slope
Happy hobo: I’m in Manhattan! I’m walkin’ down Prince Street! Hey, now I’m crossin’ Sullivan! Uh-oh, time to make a sound like a dog — woof! Woof! Woof!
–Soho
White girl on cell: DMX got in trouble for fighting dogs too? No, of course I didn’t know that. Where the fuck would you get the idea that I know what DMX does with his spare time?
–114th & Broadway
JAP: I never told her the dog licked her vibrator.
–Coffee shop, Union Square
