NYU student: “I read the Sunday paper on Sunday–the whole thing–and it really wasn’t that bad! You should try it”

Walking in Union Square

A guy is being filmed for Fox 5 News Live.

Guy: I wanna say hi to my mother-in-law and my girlfriend in the Bronx.


Overheard by: Danger

Old Coot: When you take over someone’s empire, you get more of them coming in. I turned on the ball game, and the stadium was all Spanish! This guy came to talk to me from the Daily News, and it turned out to be El Diario!

–Carmine St.

Hot girl: Hmmm, that's a synecdochical headline.
Hot boyfriend: What does “synecdochical” mean?
Hot girl: Well, synecdoche is a figure of speech where a part of something is used to stand for the whole of it, or where the whole of something is used to stand for a part of it. So, in that newspaper that guy is reading, when they say, “Detroit uses bailout money,” they really are talking about the automobile industry, not all of Detroit. They're using all of Detroit to refer to a major part of Detroit's economy. Synecdoche. They use this in newspapers all the time, come to think of it.
Hot boyfriend, smiling but clearly no longer following her: Girl, look at that vocabulary! You're so smart.
Hot girl, flatly: Yes, yes, I'm very smart. Now shut up about that and tell me how pretty I am.

–6 Train

Overheard by: someone with different priorities

Here's Dr. Seuss to Explain

JAP: So, they're opening this new pop-up shop in SoHo…
Asian friend: Why is it when white people open a temporary store it's called a “pop-up shop,” but when any other race does, it's called a “bazaar?”

–Q15 Bus

Punk kid, noticing sirens and flashing lights in the distance: I wanna go down there!
Friend: I don't care.
Punk kid: But I wanna be on Eyewitness News!

–57th b/w 3rd & 2nd

Overheard by: tori

Guy reading Post over someone's shoulder: David Letterman cheated on his wife with that? Dear god, I thought he'd have better taste.
Women reading paper: That is his wife!

–5 Train

Overheard by: Jesus Jon

Tourist #1: Do you read the New Yorker?
Tourist #2: No, I'm from Omaha.

–Times Square

Overheard by: so impressed with middle america

Female yuppie, looking at cover of New York Times: Wow. Look at that picture!
Male yuppie: What is it?
Female yuppie: It's like, some Al Qaeda guy walking in the water with all his guns and stuff.
Male yuppie: Where is he?
Female yuppie: I don't know. Algeria?
Male yuppie: I didn't know there was water in Algeria.

–Crossroads Cafe, Brooklyn

Douche on cell: I haven't had sex in 48 days and I feel like it's getting smaller. What should I do?

–48th & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Jnaz

Really old man complaining to his wife: You'd rather watch CNN than have sex with me!

–The Water Club, 30th & FDR

Overheard by: Trying to have a romantic dinner date

Pretty girl on cell: Yeah, I got this really bad toothache…my gums are sore too. (pause)
What do you mean what have I been putting in my mouth? (laughs) Well, nothing exciting, that's for sure! Maybe that's the problem. My mouth's probably going on strike cause it hasn't been getting any action.

–F Train

Overheard by: I wouldnt have minded putting something of mine in her mouth!

Girl on phone: I mean, if I don't fuck him, who will? His bitch-ass girlfriend certainly won't. (pause) No, not even; she only got those piercings so she could put a fucking lock in it.

–L Train

Random guy outside bedroom window: Just because I won't sleep with you doesn't mean I don't love you!

–Union Street, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Casey