Black guy: And another thing: I’m tired of eating you out every night!
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: RelaxLove
Power suit woman on cell: Well, you just have to get on top of it and ride it out.
–Madison Square park
Black chick: That nigger was pussy!
–14th Street & Broadway
HS girl: OK, OK, I got it. This will solve everyone’s problems: Jamal, you need to eat Anna out.
–Union Square
Employee: I’m so gangsta and keep it so real that I think it scares women sometimes.
–Duane Reade, 76th & 1st
Overheard by: Adam Shprintzen
amNew York guy: I wouldn’t mind having her as President. I just don’t want her to turn every building in New York pink. But I’m all for having a woman as President.
–Hoyt-Schemerhorn station
Some kids were making gun noises.
Dad: Nah, the trick is to use a silencer.
–Amity Diner, UES
Overheard by: Anastasia Dyakovskaya
JHS girl: I’ll be damned if I let a seventh-grader ruin my reputation.
–8th Ave. playground
Sweaty fat man on cell: I would feel stupid if I were in a diabetic coma.
–8th Ave. between 21st & 22nd
Wife: I don’t know what you’ve got to be so sad about. Your boss loves you, the kids love you, I love you, the dog loves you!
–JFK airport bar
Dowager: My god darling! The emotion! I feel naked!
–Jackson Pollock painting, MoMA
Overheard by: Anthony Garmont
Cop: Photos, painting and other stuff in a museum I appreciate, but this is just bedsheets to me.
–The Gates, CPW
Overheard by: Chris Holm
Pizza dude: That guy smokes like a camel. Every 5 minutes he’s in there. He uses it as an excuse. And then it smells.
–Hotline Pizza, Bensonhurst
