JHS girl: I’ll be damned if I let a seventh-grader ruin my reputation.
–8th Ave. playground
Sweaty fat man on cell: I would feel stupid if I were in a diabetic coma.
–8th Ave. between 21st & 22nd
JHS girl: I’ll be damned if I let a seventh-grader ruin my reputation.
–8th Ave. playground
Sweaty fat man on cell: I would feel stupid if I were in a diabetic coma.
–8th Ave. between 21st & 22nd
Wife: I don’t know what you’ve got to be so sad about. Your boss loves you, the kids love you, I love you, the dog loves you!
–JFK airport bar
Dowager: My god darling! The emotion! I feel naked!
–Jackson Pollock painting, MoMA
Overheard by: Anthony Garmont
Cop: Photos, painting and other stuff in a museum I appreciate, but this is just bedsheets to me.
–The Gates, CPW
Overheard by: Chris Holm
Pizza dude: That guy smokes like a camel. Every 5 minutes he’s in there. He uses it as an excuse. And then it smells.
–Hotline Pizza, Bensonhurst
Woman, 30s: So I go to his apartment last night after our date, and there’s all this Jesus stuff all over. I said, “Tell me this stuff is your roommate’s.” He gives me this shocked look. Turns out he’s born again! I was so pissed; I thought I was gonna get laid…
–Chelsea
Overheard by: Ursus Standingbear
Hipster: We don’t need to go to your stupid party. We’ve got smack, man.
–Bedford Ave, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Mike Epstein
Player: Listen man, all I’ve figured out so far is that you have to stay away from the ones with tattoos on their back.
–Washington Square Park
Black guy: …it’s an endangered species! It must be preserved in a museum!
–Westway Diner, 9th Ave.
20-something woman on cell: Did I tell you mom got into a fight with a raccoon again? (pause) Yeah, I know, our mom is totally going to die of rabies.
–Starbucks, West Village
Overheard by: Vaccinated for rabies
Guy to another: Flap your wings baby, just flap your wings!
–Broadway
Woman, shouting at no one in particular: You know I'm unstoppable! I'm like an ox!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
NYU girl: My mother was like, "what would you do with a giant inflatable turkey?" and I was like, "what wouldn't you do with a giant inflatable turkey?"
–3rd Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: Mickey
Conductor: This is the last train. You have no other options, this is it. Get on this train.
–Metro North Rail
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, please keep your feet off the seats on this train. They belong on the floor; that's why it's there. If you can't put your feet on the floor because your luggage is there, don't worry: we took care of that too. Look up. That thing above your head is a luggage rack.
–NJ Transit, Penn Station
Announcement on NJ transit train: If you have young children, please take them…by the hand when leaving the train.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: JerseyJR
Train conductor: This is 18th Street, if this is your stop…get up! Give up that seat!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Chris K… at 11pm
Amtrak conductor: We are experiencing engine problems and need to change trains. But I want you to know that we have lost no altitude.
–Amtrak Train
Conductor, philosophical about delayed train: We don't usually have this type of delay at this time of day. But, well, here we are… (train starts to move) Aha! Here it is!
–A Train
Overheard by: Katie J
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, do you know where you are? (passengers are silent) I do! Hudson, next stop.
–Amtrak Train, Leaving Penn Station
