President

Woman (night of the New Hampshire primary): KERRY WON!!!!
Friend: What, American Idol?

— Manhattan

Homeless preacher: Any man can be President, but only one man can be in the White House: the White Man.

–53rd & 5th Ave

Hobo: My pope, he’s a terrible pope.

–52nd & Broadway

Drunk Skank #1: …cause that’s what we’re celebrating.
Drunk Skank #2: What’re we celebrating?
Drunk Skank #1: The Bush/Cheney thing.
Drunk Skank #2: Oh yeah!

–49th and Broadway

Overheard by: Anne C.

Guy on cell: Yeah, our lives suck but at least John Kerry was elected President. Oh, wait! I have to hang up now and go kill myself.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Alice Ayers

NYU Girl: I saw her on the subway. She was wearing pink Ugg boots, bright pink stockings, a short skirt and a ton of eyeliner, and then she turns around and I see that she’s got a Bush/Cheney sticker slapped across her ass!
NYU Guy: Well, that’s a moment when you want to ask her Who do you work for, and how much are they paying you to do this?

–Broadway & East 9th Street

Chick: He’s like an ultraconservative and he was watching Bush’s speech and yelling and saying “You guys don’t know what’s going on!”. It was crazy.

–Washington Square Park

Two loudmouths point to pretend celebrities to get people out of their way.

Loudmouth #1: Look! There goes Wesley Snipes!
Loudmouth #2: Look! There goes Eddie Murphy!
Loudmouth #1: Look! There goes George Bush!
Loudmouth #2: Where? I’ll beat his ass.

–7th Ave & 34th St.

Girl #1: Yeah, he knows Dick Clark.
Girl #2: You mean the ex President?
Girl #1: Lol! No!

–Office, Madison Ave & 49th St

Seven-year old boy to bookseller: Do you have any books on crop circles in this library?

–Barnes & Noble

Overheard by: Amused bookseller a few feet away

Man to another: Don't you know? All those tunnels in Afghanistan run into the pyramids in Gaza! If I was President there would be one less pyramid.

–Soup Kitchen, Midtown

Overheard by: John Gordon

Gentleman on train: You know why they invented daylight savings, don't you? It's because of Halloween, a lot of congressmen wanted kids to have an extra hour to go trick or treating. That's why we have daylight savings.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Annie

Elderly professor: Fewer chairs, less chalk every week. It's a conspiracy!

–Pratt Institute

Overheard by: Denali

Man giving out Obama condoms: Here, have some condoms!
18-year-old girl: No thanks, I get them for free.
Man giving out Obama condoms: But these ones are flavored with hope!

–Times Square

Overheard by: kms1234567890