MTA announcement, as train stops: We're being held momentarily by the train's dispatcher. Please be patient.
Tourist: What'd he say?! We're going to hell? Temporarily?
–W Train
Overheard by: Jason
MTA announcement, as train stops: We're being held momentarily by the train's dispatcher. Please be patient.
Tourist: What'd he say?! We're going to hell? Temporarily?
–W Train
Overheard by: Jason
Child to father, on a sunny day on the train: Daddy, the train is moving, so how come the sun doesn't move at all?
Father, sounding sure of himself: That's cuz the sun moves so fast that it looks like it's not moving at all.
–F Train
Overheard by: GD
Dad to screaming kid: Stop screaming! Stop screaming! Do you want to go to time out?
Screaming kid to dad: It's too cold for time out!
Dad to screaming kid: Then we'll do it on the subway!
Screaming kid to dad: There's no time out on the subway!
Dad to screaming kid: There is if daddy leaves you on the train.
–42nd & 7th
Automated conductor: This is 30th Avenue. The next stop is Astoria Boulevard.
Guy exiting train: More like Astoria bore-levard.
(stranger nearby snickers)
Guy: Am I right? C'mon lady, I just changed your life with that statement.
–N Train
Lost Russian woman: Excuse me, does this stop at Pring Street?
Teenager: What? Oh, you mean “Spring Street.” Yeah. Just stay on the train.
(woman walks away)
Teenager to friend: What the fuck? That's like the third one this week! Am I like an old Russian woman magnet or something?
–N Train
Conductor: Tickets, please.
Ghetto commuter woman: What's taking so long?
Conductor: (no response)
Ghetto commuter women: Hello? Can you answer me?
Conductor: Can I just have your ticket?
Ghetto commuter woman: Hold on. Youse a rude-ass motherfucker.
Conductor: That's it, get off my train.
Ghetto commuter woman: Youse still a rude-ass motherfucker!
–LIRR
Overheard by: hungover commuter
Flamboyant man in sunglasses, after pushing his way into the closing doors: Whew, I made it, I don't have to wait 20 minutes… Where's my applause?
(two tourists applaud half-heartedly)
Flamboyant man: Thank you, thank you. Now don't you feel better now that you've applauded?
–A Train
Young suit on cell while at bar with coworkers: Yeah, I'm still at work right now, I'll call you when I'm done.
–The Dubliner Bar
Overheard by: Keekz
Young woman on cell: Hi, dad… Yeah, I'm in New York… Yes, I'm at Grand Central, I just got off the train.
–JFK Taxi Stand
Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld
Earnest man on cell: Yes, no, I'm driving there. I'll be there in ten minutes. What? That's a passenger. Ten to twelve minutes… Hello? I can't talk, I don't have a headset.
–B Train
Overheard by: Emily
Skanky girl on cell walking down street at fairly slow pace: I'm like, running.
–7th Ave & 47th St
Overheard by: Serena
Toddler: Daddy, are there still rats down here?
Cheerful-sounding father: Of course!
–1 Train
Hobo: I need to get to Tokyo.
MTA lady: Well, honey, go outside, make a left and take the 6 Uptown to Canal Street, cuz that's the closest you're ever gonna get.
–City Hall Station
Overheard by: wheresthetrain
