Mom: Look at you! Why are your shoes so dirty? I told you that white sneakers were a bad idea…
Son: Whatever, saddlebags…
Mom: Excuse me?
Son: Let's be honest, mother. Those pants are not doing any justice to your hips.
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: Listening with amazement
Guy #1: With her foot!?
Guy #2: Could you have said that any louder?
–Tom's Diner
Overheard by: fedmex
Black female police officer #1: You're not voting for Obama? He's black!
Black female police officer #2: Exactly, cuz when does a black man ever do anything for a black woman?
–M34 Bus
Girl #1: I used to drink Sprite all the time. Can't drink soda anymore.
Girl #2: So what do you drink now?
Girl #1: Sprite Zero.
–3rd & Lexington
Guy #1: What is that?
Guy #2: Ice cream for pussies!
–St. Mark's
Overheard by: MissPinkKate
History genius: Was Bush president in 2002?
Friend: Yeah, he was elected in 2000.
History genius: Oh. (pause) So, if he gets elected again, he'll be president until 2016?
–V Train
Overheard by: Jordan
Student #1: You can't be racist against midgets.
Student #2: What about a race of midgets? You know there were islands where scientists found four foot elephants.
Student #1: All elephants are four feet.
–NYU
Overheard by: Ajay
(girl dressed in gym clothes walks into elevator)
Elevator operator: How was the gym?
Girl: Eh, fine. I wasn't very motivated today.
Elevator operator: That's okay honey, just pop a Xanax.
–Elevator, 15th & 7th
Bouncer: What is *with* you tonight?
Girl promoting free comedy show: I had sex last night and I want everyone to be happy for me! His ball sack melted in my mouth! (to passerby) Free comedy show downstairs tonight! (a second later, screaming across the street) His ball sack melted in my mouth!
–Bleecker Street
Overheard by: Sarah Booz
20-something male of questionable sexuality: That's such a cute dog! Hey, do you know where dogs come from?
Female best friend: Where?
20-something male of questionable sexuality: Wolves!
Female best friend: No way!
Male of questionable sexuality: Yeah!
Female best friend: How did that happen?
20-something male of questionable sexuality: I don't know. I think two really small wolves mated or something.
–42nd St
Overheard by: Maddie's Friend
