Girlfriend: Out in LA they’re into that whole fake boobs/Ann Taylor thing.
Boyfriend: I love Ann Taylor.
Girlfriend: Of course you do. That fits into your preppy short girl fetish, which I’m not.
–Brooklyn-bound D train
Girlfriend: Out in LA they’re into that whole fake boobs/Ann Taylor thing.
Boyfriend: I love Ann Taylor.
Girlfriend: Of course you do. That fits into your preppy short girl fetish, which I’m not.
–Brooklyn-bound D train
British tourist guy: Come on, think, how many hours have spent together sober?
British touris girl: Two and a half.
British tourist guy: Now, how many hours have we spent together stoned?
British tourist girl: Two and a half … thousand!
–Q train
Overheard by: Ben Couch
Man: Do you want fries?
Woman: No, I’ll eat yours.
–Times Square
Teenie girl: Omigod! Idea! Do you want to go rent a movie?
Her much older boyfriend: Sure. Have you seen The Firm?
Teenie girl: What is that, like a porno?
–Hershey store, Times Square
Overheard by: Just wanted some gummy bears
Man with facial hair: You can only really pull off a Fu Man Chu if you’re a cop, a gay porn star, or a pirate.
–Virgin Records, Times Square
Guy to his girlfriend: You are one hairy bastard
–78th & 1st
Prissy girl on cell phone: Do you think I should call him? I don’t think he’d talk to me after all of the shit I’ve pulled.
–79th between 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Phipmode
Guy on cell: I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry. I’m usually so fucked up I don’t know what’s going on, to be honest.
–NJ Transit bus pulling into Port Authority
Hot chick: So, I just wanted to let you know I’m just coming out of a relationship.
Buff dude: Oh. Well, then I should tell you that I used to be a stripper in Chicago.
Hot chick: Hmm…I have herpes.
Buff dude: That’s ok, I have two cats.
–Scruffy Duffy’s, 8th Ave between 46th & 47th
Woman: No, I’m telling you, I’m right! He couldn’t eat the Trix because he was an adult rabbit, and Trix were only supposed to be for kids.
Man: Well, I always thought it was just because he was a rabbit and not a person.
[A period of silence — the woman looks down at her food.]
Man: What’s wrong?
Woman: I’m just really getting tired of you always being wrong.
–Michael’s Restaurant, Broadway & 34th St, Astoria
Man on cell: I love you baby, but I just can’t be looking at your face everyday like that.
–Union Square
Guy to friend: She had that ugly-ass quality about her.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Sarah
Guy: I mean, why spend my money to put up bail when she’s just going to wind up doing time anyway?
–B train
Overheard by: Dianora
Chick on cell: The thing is, he doesn’t freeze meat. Yeah, it’s an issue.
–22nd & 8th
Overheard by: Sebastian White
