Girl: So I met a cute boy this weekend.
Queer: Oh really?
Girl: Well, I met him a year ago, but this weekend I really met him.
Queer: You met a cute boy this weekend that you’ve known for a year?
Girl: Yeah…
Queer: Oh. So you fucked him for the first time!
–Chelsea Market, 9th Avenue
Overheard by: Aria Grillo
Guy: Is that for picket or chain link?
Old man: No, it’s for an Olympic event.
–Whole Foods, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Ray Fisher
Woman on cell: Yeah, I have to go. I’m too distracted on the phone, and I don’t trust anyone in this terminal. People are speaking Spanish behind me, if you know what I mean.
–LaGuardia
Girl #1: I don’t think I can afford to breathe in here.
Girl #2: Fucking hobos and shit breathe in here. I’m sure you’re fine.
–Saks Fifth Avenue
Chick: I have to run in here and get more ChapStick.
Guy: You just bought chapstick yesterday.
Chick: My dog steals them and eats them.
Guy: That must be why his lips are so soft.
–Columbus between 89th & 90th
Chick #1: Do you have a book called White Supremacy by Fredrickson?
Store guy: No.
Chick #1: Can you see if any other Barnes & Noble has it?
Store guy: No, none in Manhattan. I take it it’s for a class or something?
Chick #1: No, it’s for my own, uh, personal knowledge. Thanks anyway.
Store guy: Sure.
Chick #2: I need a book of art or photographs by crazy people.
–Barnes & Noble, Astor Place
Next Wednesday, 2/22, the Overheard staff–both of us–will be reading and signing the new Overheard in New York book at the above location. It starts at 7.
Suit: The thing about sales is that you’re nothing but a paid liar.
–44th & Lexington
Girl on cell: Really? Three and a half hours? I don’t think so. The ad says after four hours you need to worry.
–Nassau & Liberty
Old woman: There’s this green tea thing now…Starbucks started it…supposedly it’s really good for you.
–Starbucks, Times Square
Girl: I am, like, having an affair with my iPod.
–Sullivan & Bleecker
Man: I want the strongest coffee you have. With caffeine. Please.
–Starbucks, 78th & Lexington
Overheard by: Joshua S.
Queer: Allison, did you buy that bra so that the straps would match your shopping bag?
–2nd Avenue & 5th Street
Guy: I don’t get it. C-Town has more of a selection!
Girl: …I don’t know why you have to ruin this experience for me.
–Trader Joe’s, East 14th Street
Overheard by: ToneLoca
Black chick #1: You know what’s the funniest birthday card I ever read?
Black chick #2: What?
Black chick #1: “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, happy birthday to you, I hope you bust a nut.”
Black chick #2: Yeah, on your birthday you gotta cum.
–Duane Reade, Penn Station
Overheard by: Turby
Cashier to coworker: I would rather be homeless sleeping under a bridge than working this shitty job. [To customer] Have a great night!
–Joyce Leslie, 8th St & Washington Sq E
