Wednesday One-Liner, Huh! What Is It Good For?

JAP on cell: If more people wore glitter there would no war.

–Therapy Store

Crazy old guy: I want a dog for president. You know why? Dogs don't start wars.

–31St & Ditmars, Astoria

Overheard by: Randi and Patrick

(at an anti-war rally)
Street vendor: Say no to war, say yes to Louis Vuitton!

–Midtown

Overheard by: Oh the irony

50-something guy on cell: You see, we are a military agency, not a government agency. (pause) So when I punched out that Homeland Security guy, I punched out a civilian.

–Union Square Park

Overheard by: Ksenia

Eight-year-old boy: I dare you to fight in the civil war!

–7 Train

Posted on August 14, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Astoria, Boys, Compare/Contrast, Crazies, JAPs, Kids, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, President, Punch, Retail Therapy, Store, Union Square and East Village, Vendors & Street Performers, War, We Love Our Pets, Words

They Also Watch Their Kids Get Eaten

Girl: Hey, what’s this about?
Guy: Uh, it’s a documentary.
Girl: So they just march around?

–Borders, Time Warner Center

Overheard by: JHA

Posted on August 11, 2015
Manhattan, Movies, Pop Culture, Retail Therapy, Stupidity, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

But That Cab Fare to Mars is Ridonkulous

Girl #1: That place is so off the hook.
Girl #2: I totally need to go. What days is it open?
Girl #1: Yo, every day. Like 400 days a year.

–77th Street R station

Posted on August 2, 2015
Compliments, Girls, Idiots, Questions, Retail Therapy, Science, Stupidity, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Talking/Convos, Time

Which, Relatively Speaking, Is Free

Little girl: Are we going to Manhattan to the big shopping mall place?
Dad: You’ve spent enough money. We’re going to Manhattan and riding in a cab!

–Amtrak to Penn Station

Overheard by: Erica

Posted on June 20, 2015
Cars and Driving, Dads, Kids, Manhattan, Retail Therapy, Should've Used a Condom, Trains Not Subway

Wednesday One-liners Wear Heatherette

Girl: Damn, when my grandmother see me in this, she gone have a strizzoke!

–Filene’s Basement, Union Square

Posted on June 14, 2015
Arts & Letters, Bars & Clubs, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Dating, Fashion, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, More museums, One-liners, Queers, Retail Therapy, Stupidity, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

If You Start Singing Again, I’ll Tell Security You’re From Yemen

Girl #1: I’m sick of college. Too much work.
Girl #2: Let’s just go to Funkytown.

–LaGuardia Airport

Posted on June 7, 2015
Default, Girls, Gripes, LaGuardia Airport, Retail Therapy, School and studying, Store, The Village

There’s a Going Down Payment

Queer #1: It’s too bad he’s not for sale.
Queer #2: I think you can rent him, though.

–BoConcept, West 18th Street

Posted on May 17, 2015
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Manhattan, Queers, Retail Therapy, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Shopping

They Meant What You Think

Little girl #1: That’s a pooty.
Little girl #2: My mom has one with gray hair.

–The Gap, 86th & Broadway

Overheard by: DJ Cayenne

Posted on May 12, 2015
Body Parts, Manhattan, Retail Therapy, Should've Used a Condom, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Don’t Worry, the Internet Caught It for You

Girl: Forget it, I’m taking these off.
Guy: Why, baby? Let me see ’em.
Girl: No, they make my butt look like a white person’s ass.
Guy: What’s that?
Girl: They make my ass look flat like a white person’s!
Guy: Baby, I can’t hear you.

–Wet Seal, Manhattan Mall

Overheard by: E-Bar

Posted on April 21, 2015
Fashion, Ghetto Chicks, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Retail Therapy, White People

Retail Therapy