Cashier to coworker: I would rather be homeless sleeping under a bridge than working this shitty job. [To customer] Have a great night!
–Joyce Leslie, 8th St & Washington Sq E
Cashier to coworker: I would rather be homeless sleeping under a bridge than working this shitty job. [To customer] Have a great night!
–Joyce Leslie, 8th St & Washington Sq E
Asian student on cell: Yeah, I haven’t had time to go shopping. I’ve had all this school work to do… Yeah, me either — I haven’t been since, like, Saturday… I miss shopping, too.
–NYU computer lab
Overheard by: Cpt. Kate
Bimbette: We should go to Boston to go to the big Victoria’s Secret. It would be, like, the most rational thing we’ve ever done.
–Fordham University RamVan
Overheard by: wishmewell
Three-year-old Barenaked Ladies fan: Mommy, if I had a lot of money, I’d buy you a green dress.
–59th & Lex
Overheard by: But not a real green dress, that’s cruel
Texan: Don’t you have malls here? Well, I guess New York is like one big strip mall.
–23rd St & Lex
Overheard by: Not a Texan
Tourist bimbo: What mall is this?
–Outside Bloomberg office tower, 59th & Lex
Overheard by: Russ Wall
Guy: Yo, you got rolling papers?
Store lady: I don’t know. What is that?
Guy: You know, Zig-Zag.
Store lady: I don’t know, what is that for?
–CVS, 32nd & 5th
Overheard by: Abbey Leroux
Upper East Side crone: I just came back from Sudan, and there was nothing to buy there!
–Gift Shop, American Folk Art Museum
Hick obese wife to hick obese husband: Sometimes I like Wal-Mart better, sometimes I like K-Mart better. It depends on the day.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Emily Faxon
Tourist lady on cell: No, I was in the store the entire time! I got 8 pashminas!
–Canal St
Overheard by: Canadian Girl
Cheerful 10-year-old with cornrows to 30-something woman: This is a world famous store! So don't be surprised if you're still here at one o'clock!
–Macy's, 7th Ave
Asian girl, pointing to D'Agostino: Oh, that's D'Agostino. It's like a Japanese grocery store or something.
–10th St & University
Upper East Side mom: I shop at Target because I like to support out local businesses whenever I can.
–62nd & 3rd
Guy who just bumped into a group of women from work, in incredulous tone: So, you're all just out shopping for yarn and stuff?
Group of very excited 30-something women who just bought yarn: Yeah!
–Smith St, Brooklyn, Outside Yarn Store
Overheard by: Zoe
Horrified tourist chick #1: Oh my god, did you see that?
Horrified tourist chick #2: I think it’s a sex shop!
Horrified tourist chick #1: No!
–St. Mark’s Pl
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Little girl in line: I can’t take this anymore. I’m going shopping [walks off to clothing store].
Mother: Whatever.
–Wo Hop restaurant
Overheard by: Cran
Man on cell: Yeah, I’m here at the store, but I forgot what you told me to get… What do you mean, ‘Who is this?’ How many guys have you sent to the store in the last five minutes? Oh… This is Jeff.
–Duane Reade, 89th & Columbus
Overheard by: Veronica at http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/
Dude: I don’t think I’ll do too well on The Price Is Right. I’m too used to Manhattan. I’d say 35 dollars for a box of Bounce. Then I’d be like, ‘Holy shit, five bucks? Goddamn, Bob, where the fuck do you shop?!’
–Times Square
Overheard by: Dave
British tourist to another: A store just for containers?
–58th & Lex
Overheard by: sofs
Bimbette: It was a real Japanese store. The Japanese person behind the counter was Japanese.
–The Hilton
Filthy rich high school girl: You know, I was thinking — like, we go shopping all the time, but like, we buy clothes we never wear…
–79th & Madison
NYU girl: Jenny*, that is so not J. Crew-appropriate behavior!
–W 8th & Broadway
Queer #1: This place is terrible.
Queer #2: I know.
Queer #1: I hate Duane Reade.
Queer #2: Yeah, me too.
Queer #1: And yet I love it… it’s like an abuse relationship you just can’t get over.
Queer #2: Yeah.
Queer #1: Everytime I come in here, I see all these people who are like, I really don’t want to be here right now. [Pause. Dionne Warwick is playing.] Must be the music.
–Duane Reade, 14th & 3rd
Overheard by: NYU girl
Black guy #1: Man, we shoulda gone to the Target in Queens!
Black guy #2: Yeah! That’s where all the white people go!
–Target, Inwood
Overheard by: amused white girl
