Yuppie lady #1: I just love jogging around the reservoir in Central Park at dawn.
Yuppie lady #2: Yeah, it’s great… The only people out at that time are fitness fanatics and crackheads.
–Elevator, Time Warner Center
Yuppie lady #1: I just love jogging around the reservoir in Central Park at dawn.
Yuppie lady #2: Yeah, it’s great… The only people out at that time are fitness fanatics and crackheads.
–Elevator, Time Warner Center
Man on cell: Okay, so do we want to make a girl or a boy tonight? ‘Cause if we want to make a boy I have to go get my football gear out of my mom’s attic. Do I actually have to hold the football the whole time or just for a little bit?
–34th & 2nd
Dude: You know what? I’m just going to drop out of college and play baseball, ’cause I’ve always wanted to play for the NBA!
–SJU baseball field
Overheard by: rach boogie
Hipster: If baseball was a person, you would be racist.
–L train
Overheard by: Aidan
Man: I have reffed more basketball games this season than you have underpants.
–55th & 7th
Overheard by: Caroline
Conductor: This is Willets Point-Shea Stadium… Home of, y’know, that other team.
–Flushing-bound 7 train
Young child at end of show: Is it halftime yet?
–Radio City Music Hall
Overheard by: amused tourist
Rider #1: Damn, this bike seat is uncomfortable.
Rider #2: Damn, that VS model is hot.
Rider #1: Shit, my yoddle feels like it’s skewered like a lamb chop.
Rider #2: I wonder if she’ll agree to be my next wife…
–42nd & 6th
Mom: So, is Alex Rodriguez black or Hispanic?
Boy: He’s married.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Bobby
Poli-Sci professor: … And the FCC makes rulings so that you can’t show nipples at the Super Bowl.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Brownsvillegirl
Girl: Wouldn’t it be weird to kill someone using only your nipples?
–Harlem
Overheard by: Argopelter
Tan chick: I don’t want those black bitches looking at my nipples.
–L train
20-ish broad: I just don’t think the tassles are big enough to fit over my nipples.
–Momofuku Ssam Bar, 13th & 2nd
Overheard by: McFreaky
Ghetto dude rapping to friends: Yo, the hash balls there are bigger than your girl’s nipples!
–E 4th St & Ave A
Overheard by: punkee
Nerd: My nipples are so hard they could pick a lock.
–Javits Center
Overheard by: Allisa
Sorostitute: Tonight would have been so much better if my nipple hadn’t exploded.
–Marriott, Times Square
Drunk Long Island guy: Jets!
Drunk Long Island girl #1: I hate football!
Drunk Long Island girl #2: I’m a Red Sox fan.
Drunk Long Island guy: … That’s baseball. We are talking about football.
Drunk Long Island girl #2: Oh, well, I’m a Red Sox fan. That’s all I know.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Rori
Suit #1: I don’t know why you only take pictures of dead golfers.
Suit #2: Haha… I know.
–E 64th St & Park
Female Rangers fan to Rangers: Come on, ladies!
Suit: Haha! ‘Ladies.’ That’s so funny. I don’t really get it, but I know it’s funny.
–Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Thug skater #1: Man, how long you been skating?
Thug skater #2: As long as I been smokin’.
Thug skater #1: How long you been smokin’?
Thug skater #2: Man, I don’t know!
–12th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Laura
Crackhead girl talking to old pimp: I don’t know why for she call you… Just to be talkin’ shit… You know how I be is…
–Bed-Stuy
Vassar student: If I spoke France fluently, I’d be there right now!
–West 7th & Avenue T
Man leaning into friend’s car window: Nah, she aight… Nah, she aight… Nah, she aight. [Sees a guy across the street] Hey, man, you aight? Aight… Nah, she aight…
–150th & Macombs
Black woman: He coulda played for the Bears, he coulda played for the Jets, but nothing never stucked.
–14th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: off white
Earnest student giving presentation: I was going to talk about Freud, but I decided he was tangenital to the discussion.
–NYU Silver Center
Overheard by: She wasn’t kidding, and no one laughed
Artistic hipster wannabe: Also, not to get too psychoanaliterature…
–Starbucks, Union Square West
Overheard by: Benjamin
Thug: Yo, nigga, don’t make me yo’ escapegoat!
–4 train, Bronx
Overheard by: charles elliot
