Umpire: Foul ball. It hit her in the box.
Teammate of batter: No it didn’t, it hit her in the stomach.
–Riverside Park
Overheard by: Ramrod
Umpire: Foul ball. It hit her in the box.
Teammate of batter: No it didn’t, it hit her in the stomach.
–Riverside Park
Overheard by: Ramrod
Suit #1: It’s not that I don’t like golf, but it is so similar to croquet, yet everyone makes fun of me for playing croquet!
Suit #2: Well, maybe it is because it’s an old lady’s sport.
Suit #1: Well, then goddammit — old ladies sure know how to have fun!
–59th & Broadway
Hot blonde: Do they kick in kick boxing?
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: haha
Tourist pointing to a church: Is that the Chrysler Building?
–E 10th & Broadway
Little boy, when train jerks to a stop: Did we just hit a deer?
–Manhattan-bound N train
Overheard by: paratactical
Teen tourist: Look, I know you guys have, like, musical theatres on Broadway and stuff, but do you guys have movie theaters?
–Canal & Broadway
Tourist pointing at S train car: This is the bus that will take us to Times Square, right?
–Platform for shuttle from Grand Central to Times Square
Overheard by: the answer is yes, but you’re not right
Young girl on phone: Hells yeah, I walked out of that class! I don’t even get why we still learn about immigration. I mean, who the fuck takes boats here anymore?
–23rd & Lex
Mother: Put your shirt back on, or I won’t take you bowling.
Son: Am I funny, Mom?
Mother: No, honey, you’re strange… like that homeless man there.
–14th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ed
Chick: When Derek Jeter sees where my new bug bites are, he’s going to go ballistic.
–McDonald’s, 51st & 3rd
Overheard by: Jack
Enlightened film student to dense film student: Y’know, I can’t wait for you to wake up one day, sit straight up in bed with your eyes open wide and realize that Quentin Tarantino sucks ass!
–Borders
Old guy to wife: God, Matthew McConaughey is a fucking faggot. That guy’s been sucking cock since he was born.
–42nd & Broadway
Newspaper peddler: Read all about it! Britney Spears just died! Read all about it!
–Wall St & Broadway
11-year-old girl, leaning on subway pole: I want to jump on this pole like Tila Tequila! She can put her legs up over her head!
–E train, 50th St
Barista guy to girl wearing Red Sox hat: What do we have here? A Red Sox fan? What are you doing in this city? You don’t belong here. Hey, what’s your name? Hey! Are you ignoring me?
Red Sox girl: I’m sorry, did you say something?
Barista guy: Yeah, I was talking about your hat — it sucks.
Red Sox girl: Yeah, whatever. You didn’t spit in my latte or anything, did you?
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Snooper
Guy #1: And where did you go to high school?
Guy #2: [Names high school.]Guy #1: Wait, where are you from, again?
Guy #2: I’m from just outside of Boston.
Guy #1: So, you’re a Red Sox fan?
Guy #2: Yup.
Guy #1: Asshole.
–6 train
Overheard by: Fellow asshole
Girl: When I lived in Miami is when I really got into ice hockey.
–8th & Mercer
Black guy to white friends: Yo, Mets got no ‘rithmetic!
–63rd & Queens Blvd
Conductor over PA: Well, fuck me! Either we go bowling or we don’t go bowling!
–R train, 5th Ave
Drunk girl: I’d rather change my vagina into a penis than be a Devils fan!
–Ranger Game, MSG
Conductor: Welcome to New York’s Penn Station. This will be the last stop. Today has been declared ‘Be Nice to a Met Day.’ If you see anyone in a Mets jersey or t-shirt, be nice to them. They’ve had a rough couple of weeks.
–NJ Transit
20-something guy: I’ve never been to a professional sporting event.
Girl: Really?
20-something guy: Well, except for the Orioles…
–Freddy’s Bar, Dean & 6th
Girl in OSU shirt: I, like, didn’t go to Ohio State, but I still cheer for them because I grew up in Columbus. Still, I don’t see why most people cheer for schools’ teams they never went to. Like, I know so many people that cheer for the Eagles, but it’s not like they went to Eagles School or anything.
–2 train
Overheard by: Dice To That
Water guy: Ice cold water! Get your ice cold water for one dollar! [Guy walks by with Red Sox hat.] Two dollars for Red Sox fans!
–Broadway & Houston
Overheard by: Bronwyn
Tourist girl: Strawberry Fields? Isn’t that, like, a song or something? Or is it that baseball movie with the ghosts?
–Central Park, Strawberry Fields
Overheard by: Erin
Jersey thug: If my job was to be Mr. Met, I’d just caress young bitches all day.
–Shea Stadium
Little boy to father, who’s flipping through sports section: If you do something really bad, but you play sports, you won’t get locked up!
–Brooklyn-bound L train
Overheard by: CEF
