Stoner #1: Oh my god!
Stoner #2: What?
Stoner #1: I forgot to quit my job today!
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: Rachel
Stoner #1: Oh my god!
Stoner #2: What?
Stoner #1: I forgot to quit my job today!
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: Rachel
Stoner guy: And then I realized that we are the reality of reality, get it?
Slightly less stoner looking girl: Wow. Okay. What else did you do your first day at work?
–St. Marks Place
Overheard by: Garuda
Man on cell: Do you have any (quieter and mumbled) bagms? (pause, more intense) Do you have any (mumbled)? (one word at a time) Weed! Weed! Do you have any weeeed? (pause) No? Nothing? Well you're not much of a drug dealer then, are you?
–77th St & 3rd Ave, Bay Ridge, Brooklyn
Overheard by: fet
Hipster: …becoming a teacher and then getting arrested for marijuana possession in South Korea.
–L Train
Overheard by: paola
Boy running by: They're playing frisbee! I have to roll a joint!
–Pratt Institute
Teenage girl to guy with long hair and long beard in a tie-dye shirt: You look like you could be some kind of famous stoner.
–L Train
Mother to seven-year-old son (angrily): Don't you ever tell anyone else at school that I smoke marijuana! I'll go to jail and you'll be dead! (suddenly calm) It is, however, something I personally believe people should have a right to do.
–M102 Bus
College stoner: Wouldn’t it be awesome if, instead of being Oedipus’s mother, Jocasta was Wal-Mart or some other embodiment of the commercial-industrial complex? And, instead of blinding himself with his mother-wife’s brooches, Oedipus stabs himself in the eyes with his name tag pin? Like, I wonder what that all would mean, dude. You ever think about that?
Studious black friend: Wow. Pretentious much? Or are you just hashed right now?
College stoner: Hashed, man. Totally. What were we talking about, again? Oh, yeah!
–The Strand, Union Square
Overheard by: neongensis
Stoner #1: Why am I so high?
Barista: Because you snorted cheese?
Stoner #2: Was it Parmesan or cheddar?
–Tully’s
Nasal woman on cell: Heyyy, what you doooin’?
Stoner guy passerby, imitating her voice: Smokin’ weeeed.
–74th & CPW
Stoner: I’m telling you, they need another statue!
Friend #1: Why?
Stoner: Because when the apocalypse comes and there’s all the radiation, the Statue of Liberty is going to come to life!
Friend #2: So?
Stoner: Sooo, she’s going to need someone to get it on with!
–Morton & Hudson, West Village
Stoner: She’s so fucking hot because she’s Asian and she only goes by one name — Selena — so you know she’s hot. Like Madonna… Or Jesus… Or Gandhi… Or Cher.
Friend: Gandhi had two names, dumbass.
–NYU Weinstein Dining Hall
Stoner: She did coke, like, six times last week and was bleeding out of her nose.
Black girl: Ahhh, I love her.
–82nd & 2nd
Overheard by: yoni
Stoner #1: We’re married now.
Hoochie: We are?
Stoner #1: Yeah. We just met a sea captain, and he married us.
Stoner #2: Oh, Ahab?
–89th & York
