Teen step-daughter, looking at skater shoes: I love these shoes! If I saw a guy wearing these shoes, I’d be totally into him.
Suit: Yeah, but not for a 34-year-old.
Teen step-daughter: I know lots of 34-year-olds that would wear these.
Suit: Yeah, they work at the movie theater.
–Vintage clothing store
Overheard by: Sean B
Middle-aged woman: Spider-Man uses his spider sense to smell bad guys, but he can’t use it to smell Venom.
Little boy: But Grandma, if he can’t smell Venom, he’s invisible!
Middle-aged woman: No, he can still see him, but he can’t use his spider sense to smell him, so he’s dangerous.
Little boy: Look, a parrot!
–Barnes & Noble, 86th St
Little boy tugging on mom’s arm: Mommy, why are we here?
Mom: Because everything’s organic, sweetie.
Little boy, excitedly: I love organic!
–Trader Joe’s, Union Square
Overheard by: Lacy
Preppy girl #1: Are these boyfriend panties, or are these cheating-on-your-boyfriend panties?
Preppy girl #2: I think they’re a little slutty.
Preppy girl #1: So, for cheating?
Preppy girl #2: Yeah.
Preppy girl #1: Do you think this is all they have, or is there another drawer?
–Victoria’s Secret
Chick: Please, please, please get these for me.
Guy: [Laughs, shakes his head.]Chick: I promise I’ll give it to you 10 times today.
Guy: I don’t need you to. I get it every day.
Chick: No, you don’t! You haven’t gotten it in a month!
–Sneaker store, 82nd & Roosevelt
Overheard by: Liza
Shopgirl #1: T-shirt! Deep-fry your t-shirt, and then he’ll be all, ‘Mmm!’ and eat it off you!
Shopgirl #2: Yeah.
–Borders
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Little boy: Mom! Mom, look! Mo-ooom!
Mom: What, honey?
Little boy: They have douche bags! Should we buy some for Daddy?
–Pharmacy
Overheard by: Oh really?
Chick, to loudly burping friend: Oh my god, did you seriously just burp out loud in Bergdorf’s? Who are you?!
–Bergdorf’s
Overheard by: trooshieb
Drunk Brit with arm around ugly lady: Oh, Jesus, just walking is making me horny.
–10th & 2nd
Overheard by: emilia
Girlfriend to boyfriend: Your hair is making me horny.
–B train
Overheard by: Janelle
Guy in hoodie: I don’t know — rain gear just doesn’t really turn me on.
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ktg
Loud woman: According to recent research, a nine-month-old fetus can experience an erection.
–Bus to Staten Island
Chick on cell: … And he was, like, rubbing his erection on me, and I was like, ‘Dude, you’re rubbing your erection on me…’
–Fordham University
Lady: What are horny men doing at Build-a-Bear, anyway?
–40th & 5th
Overheard by: don’t wanna know
