NYU girl #1, during fire alarm: Whoa, look! There’s an elevator. Maybe it’s going to dump water on the building to put out the fire.
NYU girl #2: Wait… What?
NYU girl #1: Did I say elevator? I meant helicopter. Whatever.
–Washington Square Park
NYU girl #1, during fire alarm: Whoa, look! There’s an elevator. Maybe it’s going to dump water on the building to put out the fire.
NYU girl #2: Wait… What?
NYU girl #1: Did I say elevator? I meant helicopter. Whatever.
–Washington Square Park
Sixth grader #1: When I grow up, I’m going to make a movie called The Tallest Midget!
Sixth grader #2: Nigga, you stupid.
–Triboro coach
Overheard by: face
Gym rat #1: Yeah, I go to a great gym… And it’s not a fashion show like other places — people are there to work out.
Gym rat #2: Yeah?
Gym rat #1: Yeah. And the girls there? Oh, man, they are so hot. That is the best thing about it.
–6 train platform, Union Square
Overheard by: rory solomon
Tourist #1: Our next vacation should be to Chicago. At least people there are normal.
Tourist #2: They are not normal.
Tourist #1: Why not?
Tourist #2: People from the Midwest just don’t get it like we do — we just get it.
Tourist #1: Yeah, I guess you’re right. I think I get it.
Tourist #2: No, you don’t.
–Times Square
Female coworker: Seven inches. That’s seven inches I’ve had taken out.
–1250 Broadway
Crazy, wigged Puerto Rican chick: There are so many different personalities, you know? Fifty-one states, fifty-one different personalities.
–Outside Home Night Club, 27th St, between 10th & 11th
Queer on cell: Well, everyone wants to be number one… Until they are number one… Then they want to be number five.
–Union Square
Asian airline rep: To all passengers waiting for standby information on flight, chances of getting on airplane are zero to none. Please, no more asking.
–LaGuardia
Teen trying on jacket: How does this look on me, on a scale of one to ten, with five being the middle?
–Virgin Megastore
Overheard by: Raoul
Guy on cell: I have two, three, or four siblings…
–9th & 7th, Park Slope
Overheard by: you can never be too sure
Male student: Hey, do you want to watch Harold and Maude later?
Female student #1: Is that the one–? Never mind.
Male student: Wait, what were you going to say?
Female student #1: Is that the one with the hippos?
Male student: What are you talking about?
Female student #1: One wore a suit jacket, and the other wore a little dress…
Male student, later: Wanna see Harold and Maude later?
Female student #2: Is that the one with the hippos? Did one of them have a hat?
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: Olivia
Latina #1 pushing stroller: Mira! Today was the first day of David’s school!
Latina #2: Damn! It start so quickly already?
Latina #1: Yeah, I went to drop David and met with the principal. He seemed a bit shady.
Latina #2: Shady? Like how?
Latina #1: I dunno. He was going on about how he treat everybody in school like his own children. I was like, ‘Hold up! What family has so many kids, anyway?’
–9th & 4th
Lady: Oh, man, I hate it when it rains, because there’s water and you get wet.
Male companion: Yes, I know exactly what you mean.
–6 train, 86th & Lex
Overheard by: Beth
Boyfriend: I love Barnes and Noble.
Girlfriend: Yeah, I love books.
Boyfriend: Me, too. I just wish I liked reading.
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Headline by: Tosser
Runners-Up:
· “As long as it gets the poo off my ass, I’m happy” – Jim C.
· “But I have a nice set of Hemingway coasters.” – Sarah K
· “But get enough of them together, you have one hell of a fort.” – DJR
· “I just like to judge them by their covers” – Peter
· “It’s goal number 2, right after learnig to color inside the lines” – kristen
