Teen girl #1: So, I heard that this porn star had, like, lung cancer and had to, like, have part of her lung removed.
Teen girl #2: Damn, that sucks. Is she, like, always out of breath?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, and she, like, can’t talk that much either ’cause she can hardly breathe.
Teen girl #2: But isn’t she a porn star? When she like, you know, has an orgasm, how can she make those loud noises? Her career is so over.
Teen girl #1: Maybe she has a ventriloquist.
Teen girl #2: No way. That’d only work if she was a guy and it was gay porn, ’cause, I mean, who’s ever heard of a girl ventriloquist?

–Deli, 42nd St

Headline by: Emilio Lizardo

Runners-Up:

· “And They Called Her Howdy Pooty” – Sean

· “Charlie McCarthy Does Dallas!” – Mary Beth Hanlon

· “How many ‘likes’ does it take to get to another orgasm?” – Maggie Mae

· “I never knew smoking pole could cause lung cancer” – Matt T

· “If Helen Keller did porn” – Em

· “She’s Not Bad, But I Can See Her Lips Moving” – Dan

· “That’s not all she’s faking” – CoolPapaZ

· “Those screeching sounds come from her other set of lips” – Nick. D.

· “You know what else turns me on? Leprosy” – Steve

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