Guy: Oh my God, look. There is a Duane Reade on the corner of Duane and Reade.
–Reade St
Tourist: Can you tell me where the Empire State Building Is?
–cafe, Empire State Building
Overheard by: dogstar
Guy: Oh my God, look. There is a Duane Reade on the corner of Duane and Reade.
–Reade St
Tourist: Can you tell me where the Empire State Building Is?
–cafe, Empire State Building
Overheard by: dogstar
Guy, pushing on the door between cars: Can you not go between cars when it’s moving?
Old lady: It’s not the subway. You have to pull.
Guy pulls hard on the handle.
Old lady: Turn and pull.
Guy, passing through the door, shouts back loudly over his shoulder: So I push the next one?
–Metro-North, Harlem Line
JAP: Is Miguel Ferrer Hispanic? I mean, I know he’s from Puerto Rico, but it says here he doesn’t speak Spanish. Does that still make him Hispanic?
–Office, Broadway
Asian girl: Where do you want to go to college?
Greek girl: Huh, You have pink eye? My brother had that. It’s mad contagious.
–Bronx High School of Science
Girl #1: Yo, it’d be so cute if we both lost our virginity this weekend.
Girl #2: But you’re not a virgin
Girl #1: Oh, right. Dammit.
Bum: If you ain’t a virgin, you must be a ho! Don’t come back to this church. This is God’s place.
–St. John the Divine
Overheard by: a fox
Barfly: It was a term of endearment.
Bouncer: A term of endearment is not punching someone in the face.
–2×4, 2nd Ave & 4th St
Overheard by: Cait O’Connor (and Foley)
Headline by: Dave Barnette
Runners-Up:
· “And Assault Isn’t A Spice, Either” – Kathy
· “Aww, you just feel left out.” – Alaine
· “He Said He Wanted Another Hit” – Playtah
· “He’s playing hard to get” – Jeri Rosenblum
· “C’mon, it’s not like she was pregnant…” – laura c
· “It doesn’t count if you don’t leave a mark.” – Scott
· “Welcome to New York” – shorty
· “Another dropout from the school of hard knocks” – jm
· “Barflies Mate Every 48 Hours” – red
· “No, That’s a Term of Three To Ten” – Boyhowdy
· “Dad has a lot of explaining to do” – Mr. Uncreative
· “For endearment, you tend to go for the groin” – ruth
· “Tyler Durden: The Final Years” – Mr. Nobody
· “Punchline” – Robert Katz
Woman: It’s not interactive. It’s just active. It’s not inter.
–Cooper-Hewitt National Design Museum
Overheard by: Kristen
Guy: Wow! It’s so old!
–Egyptian exhibit, The Met
Overheard by: BKLYN
Mother: Honey, is this 42nd Street?
Father: Peggy, have you not lived in this goddamn city for 32 years?
Mother: Yes, but… I’m just curious. Is it? Just tell me.
Father to daughter: Tell your mother I’m not answering that question.
–Outside Grand Central
Girl #1: Oh my gawd, that guy just dropped his iPod under the train!
Girl #2: He’s not even crying!
Girl #1: He must be in shock. I would be!
–Penn Station, LIRR
Black lesbian: I’ve been in this neighborhood for so long.
Black gay guy: Mhh-hmmmh.
Black lesbian: Oh man! See that brownstone? Years ago I was invited to a wedding reception there. It was awesome. Beautiful. I was sitting right up front and laughing and crying with the rest of the family, like, I love you ladies! Damn, to this day, I still don’t know how the hell I got there, or who those bitches were.
–Bleecker & Christopher
Overheard by: grrryphon
