Man on cell: Hello. Oh, hi, yes. You won’t believe it. I’m on a bus. In New York City. Can you imagine?
–M-104 bus
Overheard by: Nhoo
Girl: Oh my God, I am psyched to be in New York. Look! I can’t believe they have sand here! Aww!
–Central Park, near the Great Lawn
Tourist guy: Wow. I love this city. If New York had a cunt, I would eat it.
–Times Square
Overheard by: monzo
Woman #1: You said 28th and 7th.
Woman #2: I told you 27th and 8th.
Woman #1: You did not.
Woman #2: Yes, I did.
Woman #1: I know what you said ’cause I got a photogenic memory. You said 27th and 8th.
Woman #2: That’s what I’m saying.
Woman #1: Fuck you then.
–28th & 7th
Overheard by: Akd
Teen boy #1: Is turkey actually, like, protein?
Teen boy #2: Of course. It’s got chicken in it.
–Bronx High School of Science
Overheard by: overhearer
Drugged out gangsta kid #1: I got mad depth perception, yo.
Drugged out gangsta kid #2: Yo, do you know what that means?
Drugged out gangsta kid #1: Yeah, I can see really good out one eye.
Drugged out gangsta kid #2: No, man. Deaf means you can’t hear shit!
–L train platform, Union Square
Guy #1: Wait a sec, what train is this? What am I on?
Guy #2: I’m on your mom. That’s what I’m on.
–D train
Girl #1: I hate gushing blood. Gross.
Girl #2: Yeah, and retarded people
Girl #3: Yeah, retarded people scare me
Girl #2: ‘Cause you’ll never know what they’re gonna do, ’cause they’re retarded.
–KFC, King’s Highway, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Veronika
South Bronx gangster #1: Yo, damn, look at that Asian girl, son!
South Bronx gangster #2: You ever been with an Asian girl?
Gangster #1: Nah, son, you?
Gangster #2: Nah, yo, but I heard them pussies is sideways!
Gangster #1: What?! Sideways?!
Gangster #2: Yeah, son, sideways. They pussies is siiiideways!
Gangster #1: Shit, I gotta try and get with one now.
–the Bronx
Overheard by: Scullface
Asian valley chick: So, I bought this shirt? And it was like…it was like…it was like, a shirt? And it was really cool.
–N train
Man: Wow, you speak good English. Where are you from?
Asian girl: Australia.
Man: Do they speak English there?
–1 train station
Black lady with five kids: You can’t get anything here. We gots to get to Old Navy to buy us all our Fourth of July t-shirts so we match at the picnic.
Black guy: They have the best deal. Shirts are five dollars each, that’s like [counts kids, self, and wife] less than twenty bucks for all of us, and even the baby shit has a flag on it.
–Target, Atlantic Terminal, Brooklyn
Overheard by: lora
