Girl #1: Yo, it’d be so cute if we both lost our virginity this weekend.
Girl #2: But you’re not a virgin
Girl #1: Oh, right. Dammit.
Bum: If you ain’t a virgin, you must be a ho! Don’t come back to this church. This is God’s place.
–St. John the Divine
Overheard by: a fox
Barfly: It was a term of endearment.
Bouncer: A term of endearment is not punching someone in the face.
–2×4, 2nd Ave & 4th St
Overheard by: Cait O’Connor (and Foley)
Headline by: Dave Barnette
Runners-Up:
· “And Assault Isn’t A Spice, Either” – Kathy
· “Aww, you just feel left out.” – Alaine
· “He Said He Wanted Another Hit” – Playtah
· “He’s playing hard to get” – Jeri Rosenblum
· “C’mon, it’s not like she was pregnant…” – laura c
· “It doesn’t count if you don’t leave a mark.” – Scott
· “Welcome to New York” – shorty
· “Another dropout from the school of hard knocks” – jm
· “Barflies Mate Every 48 Hours” – red
· “No, That’s a Term of Three To Ten” – Boyhowdy
· “Dad has a lot of explaining to do” – Mr. Uncreative
· “For endearment, you tend to go for the groin” – ruth
· “Tyler Durden: The Final Years” – Mr. Nobody
· “Punchline” – Robert Katz
Woman: It’s not interactive. It’s just active. It’s not inter.
–Cooper-Hewitt National Design Museum
Overheard by: Kristen
Guy: Wow! It’s so old!
–Egyptian exhibit, The Met
Overheard by: BKLYN
Mother: Honey, is this 42nd Street?
Father: Peggy, have you not lived in this goddamn city for 32 years?
Mother: Yes, but… I’m just curious. Is it? Just tell me.
Father to daughter: Tell your mother I’m not answering that question.
–Outside Grand Central
Girl #1: Oh my gawd, that guy just dropped his iPod under the train!
Girl #2: He’s not even crying!
Girl #1: He must be in shock. I would be!
–Penn Station, LIRR
Black lesbian: I’ve been in this neighborhood for so long.
Black gay guy: Mhh-hmmmh.
Black lesbian: Oh man! See that brownstone? Years ago I was invited to a wedding reception there. It was awesome. Beautiful. I was sitting right up front and laughing and crying with the rest of the family, like, I love you ladies! Damn, to this day, I still don’t know how the hell I got there, or who those bitches were.
–Bleecker & Christopher
Overheard by: grrryphon
Woman: Is there a specific exhibit you’d like to see?
Man: Yeah, I want to see the dinosaurs!
–The Met
Overheard by: Susie
Guy #1 on cell: Hey it’s me. Listen, I’m about to walk into the subway, I’m gonna lose you, I just wanted to tell you that my parents are gonna be there tonight, and I know you didn’t want them to see your tattoos the first time they met you, so I wanted to tell you so you could…oh. Hi, Mrs. Goldstein.
Guy #1 to guy #2: FUCK! I cannot believe I just did that! Her mother had no idea she has tattoos.
Guy #2: I don’t see the big deal, so she has tattoos, everyone has…wait, did you say her last name was Goldstein? I get it now.
–Astor Place
Guy #1: I think she’s Mexican.
Guy #2: Nah, she can’t be Mexican, I’ve been there, they cute but short.
Guy #1: Yeah, now that you mention it, she is a little too tall to be Mexican, but I don’t care, I’ll still hit it.
Guy #2: I’ll hit it and help her get her papers if she doesn’t have them. I’m all for amnesty in the name of getting laid.
–JFK Airport
Overheard by: Tydestra, who speaks English
Man in elevator, to young boy: Como estas?
Wife: That is Spanish. He is from Brazil.
Man: Of, course. So, how do you say “how are you” in Brazilian?
Wife: Meh, they speak Portuguese in Brazil.
Man: Yes, I know that…
Pause
Man: How do you say it in Brazilian?
–109th & Amsterdam
