Guy #1: Wait a sec, what train is this? What am I on?
Guy #2: I’m on your mom. That’s what I’m on.
–D train
Guy #1: Wait a sec, what train is this? What am I on?
Guy #2: I’m on your mom. That’s what I’m on.
–D train
Girl #1: I hate gushing blood. Gross.
Girl #2: Yeah, and retarded people
Girl #3: Yeah, retarded people scare me
Girl #2: ‘Cause you’ll never know what they’re gonna do, ’cause they’re retarded.
–KFC, King’s Highway, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Veronika
South Bronx gangster #1: Yo, damn, look at that Asian girl, son!
South Bronx gangster #2: You ever been with an Asian girl?
Gangster #1: Nah, son, you?
Gangster #2: Nah, yo, but I heard them pussies is sideways!
Gangster #1: What?! Sideways?!
Gangster #2: Yeah, son, sideways. They pussies is siiiideways!
Gangster #1: Shit, I gotta try and get with one now.
–the Bronx
Overheard by: Scullface
Asian valley chick: So, I bought this shirt? And it was like…it was like…it was like, a shirt? And it was really cool.
–N train
Man: Wow, you speak good English. Where are you from?
Asian girl: Australia.
Man: Do they speak English there?
–1 train station
Black lady with five kids: You can’t get anything here. We gots to get to Old Navy to buy us all our Fourth of July t-shirts so we match at the picnic.
Black guy: They have the best deal. Shirts are five dollars each, that’s like [counts kids, self, and wife] less than twenty bucks for all of us, and even the baby shit has a flag on it.
–Target, Atlantic Terminal, Brooklyn
Overheard by: lora
Guy: Oh my God, look. There is a Duane Reade on the corner of Duane and Reade.
–Reade St
Tourist: Can you tell me where the Empire State Building Is?
–cafe, Empire State Building
Overheard by: dogstar
Guy, pushing on the door between cars: Can you not go between cars when it’s moving?
Old lady: It’s not the subway. You have to pull.
Guy pulls hard on the handle.
Old lady: Turn and pull.
Guy, passing through the door, shouts back loudly over his shoulder: So I push the next one?
–Metro-North, Harlem Line
JAP: Is Miguel Ferrer Hispanic? I mean, I know he’s from Puerto Rico, but it says here he doesn’t speak Spanish. Does that still make him Hispanic?
–Office, Broadway
Asian girl: Where do you want to go to college?
Greek girl: Huh, You have pink eye? My brother had that. It’s mad contagious.
–Bronx High School of Science
