Doorman #1: What if she was a Chinese woman, would you help her?
Doorman #2: Oh, hell no.
–W 77th St
Overheard by: Cole Goadbog
Doorman #1: What if she was a Chinese woman, would you help her?
Doorman #2: Oh, hell no.
–W 77th St
Overheard by: Cole Goadbog
Girl: Every time I fart, more blood comes out.
–SoHo
Guy on cell: The blood bank’s coming and they want me to give blood…Naw, I’m like, “I’ll give blood for Yankee tickets.” I’ve done enough for good causes. You know, I gotta hold on to that shit. That’s my blood, man.
–48th & 3rd
Jerseyite: Wait, mosquitoes suck blood?
–Prince & Lafayette
Girl, to guy singing loudly: Shut up, before I take my bloody pad off and smear it on your face! Times seven!
–Village Community School, W 10th St
Overheard by: Keesha Brown
Little boy, waiting in line to see “Bodies” exhibit: Are there gonna be rides?
–South Street Seaport
Little girl, playing with her inattentive mother’s cell: Nine… One…
–Atlantic Center, Brooklyn
Overheard by: wee e
Little girl, humming to herself: Cat cat dog, I am a tree! Eeeee! Minute Maid Coke, I am a poodle! Eeeee!
–Brooklyn bound Q train
Little boy: Eddie, I like that torture a lot!
–Dizzy’s, 9th St & 8th Ave, Park Slope
Little girl: Mom, I am highly disappointed in the construction.
–71st Rd, Forest Hills
3-year-old girl: Daddy, does this helmet make me look crazy?
–13th & University
Little boy: Simon says reach into everybody’s pants!
–Waiting room, Mt. Sinai Hospital
Overheard by: Jobee
Hostess: Actually, you are sitting on the table.
Customer: Oops.
–Sushi Samba, 7th Avenue South
Overheard by: AJ Stone
Drunken friend: That looks like the place to be! I’m going in that room.
Sober friend: Dude, that’s a mirror.
–Rivington & Clinton
Girl: Isn’t your dad Swiss?
Guy: No, he’s Swedish.
Girl: Oh, that’s right: people are Swedish, things are Swiss. Well, actually, they’re interchangeable.
–Sprint Store, 8th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Thunder
Girl #1: That falafel was super good! What’s it made out of?
Girl #2: Chickpeas.
Girl #1: Oh. You mean, like, from chickens?
–East Village
Overheard by: S.
Person #1: So, what’s the third state in the tri-state area? I know: New Jersey…Certainly New York. Is it Connecticut?
Person #2: You never hear about a bi-state area.
Person #1: What about Nicaragua. Didn’t you have sex with both a girl and a boy there?
Person #2: I don’t think the country of Nicaragua bases its sense of identity on my sexual exploits.
Person #1: Is Long Island a state?
–9th & Ave A
Late-20’s woman #1: I think it’s time to get, like, a serious job.
Late-20’s woman #2: Good, you definitely should.
Late-20’s woman #1: So, I think I am going to apply for a job at Urban Outfitters!
–LIRR platform, Long Beach line
Overheard by: skilla
