9-year-old girl: Mommy, please can we leave? This doesn’t even make any sense! It’s stupid.
Mommy: Sweetie, it’s not supposed to make sense. It’s senseless art. They’re making fun of real art.
–Dada exhibit, MoMA
9-year-old girl: Mommy, please can we leave? This doesn’t even make any sense! It’s stupid.
Mommy: Sweetie, it’s not supposed to make sense. It’s senseless art. They’re making fun of real art.
–Dada exhibit, MoMA
Portly dude in Rangers jersey: I’m the best thing to ever happen to Amish country.
–Spanish Consulate, 58th & Lex
Bartender: Yeah, I know him, he’s a professor of social studies at Columbia.
Middle-Aged woman: That’s my school! I think it’s so great that he’s a social worker.
Bartender: Um, he’s a professor of social studies.
Middle-Aged woman: Right, a social worker.
Bartender: No, he’s a professor of social studies. That doesn’t make him a social worker.
Middle-Aged woman: No?
–81st & Amsterdam
Customer: Do you have The Picture of Dorian Gray?
Employee: What is that?
–Barnes & Noble, Park Slope
Girl #1: Does Katie’s brother say, “You wanna puke in my ass”?
Girl #2: I think he says, “house.”
Girl #1: Ooh. Oh my God, that makes so much more sense.
Girl #1 to girl #3: We are such idiots.
–Whitestone, Queens
Overheard by: Michelle
Guy #1: I hear if you pee on that third rail thing it will kill you.
Guy #2: Really? Let’s give it a shot!
Guy #2 pees over the side, hitting the third rail.
Guy #2: Fuckin’ bullshit, man! That shit doesn’t even work!
–B platform, 34th St
Some Con Ed workers are standing around a manhole, peeking in and looking confused.
Con Ed worker: Just put some tape on it!
–43rd St & 30th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: Jennifer Cuatt
Girl #1, showing Girl #2 a website: Look at how beautiful this place is; it’s in Rhode Island.
Girl #2: I love Rhode Island. I used to go there a lot.
Girl #3: Yuck, why would you go to Rhode Island? That’s where that mental institution is. Why would you want to go there?
Girl #2: No, Rhode Island is a state in our country. You mean Roosevelt Island, and that institution has been closed for, like, ever.
–W 77th St
Teen girl: Wow! I just realized I haven’t been online all day!
–34th & 6th
Overheard by: Different Generation
Middle-aged woman: 50% of the population is allergic to wheat. They just don’t know it. It’s true– I read it on the internet.
–Port Authority
Guy: You should start a fight with her on MySpace.
–75th & Amsterdam
Guy: I’m pretty sure my cat has Down’s syndrome…You can read about it on my MySpace blog.
–Spice, Chelsea
Overheard by: DJR
Thug: MySpace is like crack, yo. I’m addicted to that shit.
–F train
Overheard by: Laurence Lau
Girl: Google is, like, totally taking over the world!
–Terminal 4, JFK
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Girl on cell: We need, like, a slutty web-designer friend we can bring in on this.
–Harlem
Overheard by: Buttons
Scruffy dude: I should just bring her a bunch of photos of my ex-girlfriend and slam them down and be like, “Find one, just one of these, that you’re hotter than.” I can’t believe she wouldn’t give me her e-mail address. She must be out of her mind. I mean, just give me a fake one. Like, something at hotmail.com. Anything!
–54th & 10th
Overheard by: Waiting for The Colbert Report
Guy wearing t-shirt that says “You are so off my buddy list”: So I am thinking about creating another website that’s Jedi-friendly.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Palmala Handerson
Girl: It smells like blasphemy!
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: I only smelled mulch
Tattooed chick: It’s Christa. You remember, Christ with an A, because I’m so fucking godlike.
–8th & A
Overheard by: Meredith
Guy: She looks like the female version of Dave, which is a bit disconcerting to me…He looks like traditional representations of Jesus.
–Manhattan bound L train
Overheard by: Philip
Guy: Me and Jesus don’t get along.
–W 30th, between 7th & 8th
Overheard by: Maggie
Femme on cell: So, like, our periods stopped at the same time for two hours so we could have sex and I was like, God loves me. Jesus was clearly gay.
–103rd & Broadway
Middle-Aged lady: Yeah, you can’t go switchin’ churches like that. That’s too many different spirits. You’ll be dealin’ with demons and stuff.
–F train
Overheard by: Yanni
College guy: No, really, dude. The guy’s a full-time, licensed exorcist!
–W 4th St A/C/E uptown platform
Overheard by: EJ
Muscular dude: I am devoted to crack but not to Christ! Please explain that to me. I’m a good crackhead, but I ain’t a good Christian!
–Downtown 1 train
Street vendor: NYU students, you gotta love them. They be going through hell and jumping out of windows and shit.
–Spring & Broadway
