Stupidity

Girl #1: I can’t believe that CVS didn’t have paint! How about Bagel Art? That place should have paint.
Girl #2: That says Bagel Mart.
Girl #1: No, it doesn’t!
Girl #2: Move a little to your left.
Girl #1: Bagel…Mart. Oh. So then what does it have?

–Gigi’s Pizzeria, Whitestone

Overheard by: Liz

Lady #1: This stuff is really good. It has antidotes in it. It’s good for your skin.
Lady #2: You mean ANTIOXIDANTS. An ANTIDOTE is a short story.

–Barnes & Noble

Teen girl #1: Yo, how you spell juicy?
Teen girl #2: I don’t know; I dropped out of school 6 months ago.

–A train

Subway announcement: The next l train is now arriving on the Manhattan bound track.
Midwest tweaker, to no one in particular: Boo-yah! Buh-buh-buh boo-yah! (blows snot rocket onto subway tracks) The l train? What the fuck is that?

–Bedford L Train

Overheard by: Ben Graney

American man: So you’re a tourist from Great Britain?
British man: Yes, I am.
American man: Where did you learn to speak English?
British man: We spawned the language, you know.
American man: No. . . that was the English.

–Statue of Liberty crown

Girl #1: So I don’t wanna be all like, “whatever,” because he, like, totally likes me.
Girl #2: He told me he thinks you’re smart.

–R train

Overheard by: Jorge De La Garza

Girl #1, looking at notebook her friend gave her: Hey, that's a cool notebook!
Girl #2: It's yours, silly!
Girl #1: Oh, yeah!

–City College of New York

Overheard by: Just chilling around..

Guy: I will have a coffee.
Waitress: We don’t have anything hot.
Guy: Then an iced coffee, please?

–New York Comedy Club, East 24th Street

Overheard by: Eric Kuhn

Hobo #1: Hey, how's it going?
Hobo #2: Okay.
Hobo #1: I'll call you tonight!
Hobo #2: I don't have a phone.
Hobo #1: I know.

–Astoria

Overheard by: Natalie

Loud teenage guidette: He doesn’t date!
Ugly teenage guidette: Yeah, he’s gay or something. I heard—yeah.
Loud teenage guidette: No, no, he’s protestant—like religious. They worship this Chinese guy…
Ugly teenage guidette: Oh, I heard about that! They don’t date?
Loud teenage guidette: They don’t date white people.

–Starbucks