Talking/Convos

Wanna Buy a Bridge?

Old man picks loose string off back of woman’s coat: You’ve got something there… Ah, now you’re perfect!
Woman: Oh, well, thank you!
Old man: You believe that and you’ll believe anything.

–Stromboli’s Pizza, St. Mark’s & 1st Ave

Overheard by: shankalicious

Headline by: greg

Runners-Up:

· “Like Creationism…” – Drew

· “Now hold still while I examine you for breast cancer” – Zorak

· “On an unrelated note, my penis cures cancer” – Wes Mantooth

· “Puppetmaster IV: The Rude Awakening” – Chris

· “That’s What God Said To Adam & Eve, Too” – fritzy


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

How about If I Smoke It and Don’t Go?

Hipster #1: Shit, I forgot the wine.
Hipster #2: You’re such an idiot. Where is it?
Hipster #1: I don’t know, in some store somewhere. But it’s okay, because I have a joint.
Hipster #2: You can’t bring a joint if she invited us for dinner. It’s not a ‘thank you’ if you’re just gonna smoke it.

–Brooklyn-bound F train

Overheard by: Yiriam Madison

Mine’s in a Secret Abdominal Compartment

Asian princess: #1: You know what’s annoying?
Asian princess: #2: What?
Asian princess: #1: When, like, people carry, like, two bags.
Asian princess: #2: Oh my god, I know! Like, when they have their school bag and then their coach bag…
Asian princess: #1: Totally! It’s like, sooo annoying.
Asian princess: #2: Yeah! That’s why I put my bag in my school bag.

–Q11 bus

Is There a Way to Take Her Out without Killing Her?

Teen girl #1: I just wish there was some middle ground. Like, if they could take the baby out without killing it.
Teen girl #2: Yeah, I know what you’re talking about.
Teen girl #1: But with rape, I think it’s totally wrong. It’s her fault.
Teen girl #2: Really? Why?
Teen girl #1: If you’re walking down a dark alley all alone, you have it coming to you. You should know better. It’s totally your own fault.

–42nd & 6th

Overheard by: Chris Cardinal

I Use the Latter As Pace Rabbits

Yuppie lady #1: I just love jogging around the reservoir in Central Park at dawn.
Yuppie lady #2: Yeah, it’s great… The only people out at that time are fitness fanatics and crackheads.

–Elevator, Time Warner Center

He Left His Wife for Tap and Never Looked Back

Guy #1: He hates women.
Guy #2: So he’s a misogynist?
Guy #1: No, he’s a choreographer.

–57th & Broadway

So We Watched TV — That Was Okay, Actually

Guy #1: So she told me that she wants to make out more.
Guy #2: Huh?
Guy #1: She wants to sit and make out but not have sex.
Guy #2: Why bother making out if it isn’t going to end in sex?
Guy #1: That’s what I said.

–15th & Colfax

Overheard by: sean b

It’s Really More of a Wake

Comedy club promoter: Hey, ladies! Next show starting in a few minutes — drink specials…
Girl: We’re not in the mood to laugh.
Comedy club promoter: We’re not that funny!

–W 3rd St, between 6th Ave & MacDougall

But Your Girlfriend’s a Loser

Dude #1: Whoa, this year is double-oh-seven.
Dude #2: That’s so freaking cool.
Chick: I don’t get it. How is that cooler than last year being double-oh-six?
Dude #1: Because Alec Trevelyan was a dick.
Dude #2: … Did you ever know that you’re my hero?

–Carlyle Court, 25 Union Square West

Are You Rude? … Wait, I Know This One…

Guy, about man on Bluetooth ear piece: Man, look at that guy. He’s nuts.
Girl: Oh, geez. He’s just on the phone.
Guy, to Bluetooth man: Are you crazy? She doesn’t think so.

–Near City Hall

Overheard by: Matt

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