Mature woman to mature husband, going in to see The Light in the Piazza: Piazza — it means “little pizza.”
–Beaumont Theatre, Lincoln Center
Mature woman to mature husband, going in to see The Light in the Piazza: Piazza — it means “little pizza.”
–Beaumont Theatre, Lincoln Center
Guy to buddies: This chick was so ugly I wouldn’t want to cum on her face.
–Off the Wagon
Man: Isn’t “volvo” the medical term for a vagina?
–Jacob Javits Center
Overheard by: Tesla
Crazy guy: Ain’t you people heard of the Treaty of Versailles? I gots mothafuckin’ rights, mothafuckas!
NYU tour guide: Washington Square Park is the vibrant center of campus…
Crazy guy: Rights! You can’t just be dropping mustard gas on me, like that mothafucka from Tennessee be doin’. The Treaty of Versailles says I got rights!
Tour mom: Oh my god! They have mustard gas here now? I told you this city wasn’t safe.
Crazy guy: This bitch understands that I got rights!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Laura Mathis
Queer: This place is way gayer than last time.
–XL, West 16th street
Overheard by: straight girl
Woman: I’m never going to be in the “in crowd” because the “in crowd” are all molecular biologists and have labs.
–F train
Overheard by: Eric Wrenn
Chick: Yeah, our RA put up this poster listing these words we’re not
supposed to say because they’re offensive.
Guy: What can’t you say?
Chick: “Bitch”, “retarded”, “gay”, “fag”, “slut”, and “gypped”.
Guy: “Gypped”? Why “gypped”?
Chick: I dunno, it’s offensive to gypsies or something.
Guy: Do gypsies even go to NYU, let alone college?
Chick: Maybe she’s from Romania and shit.
–Hayden Hall Residence, Washington Square West
Overheard by: Glynnis O
Hobo: Got a cigarette you can spare?…Give me a cigarette!
Girl #1: Hey, fuck you.
Hobo: Yeah, fuck you too!
Girl #2: At least we have a home!
Hobo: Yeah, I got a home too. In your mother’s cunt, bitch!
–Broadway & Bleecker
Overheard by: Solanum
Guy #1: Hey, watch it! Jerk!
Guy #2: Get a bigger dog, asshole!
Guy #1: Be a smaller person!
–Bleecker & Perry
Overheard by: Zell
Teen girl: My Facebook password is “pee”.
Teen guy: “P”?
Teen girl: No, “pee”. P-e-e. Like, to take a pee. I just couldn’t think of anything. It used to be “poo”. Whatever, it’ll probably get hacked by some stalker anyway.
Teen guy: Who would hack your profile?
Teen girl: My brother did it before. He guessed the password in like three minutes.
–Hayden Hall Residence elevator, Washington Square West
