Nanny #1: Who were you named after, Paulette?
Nanny #2: My father.
Nanny #1: Oh, what was his name?
Nanny #2: Ette.
–Washington Square Park
Nanny #1: Who were you named after, Paulette?
Nanny #2: My father.
Nanny #1: Oh, what was his name?
Nanny #2: Ette.
–Washington Square Park
Professor man: Can anyone tell me what’s an entourage?
Guy: A posse.
Professor man: A what? A “posse”? Is that really a word?
–Silver Center, Washington Square East
A chick been caught stealing by security. For some inexplicable reason, they let her yell at them.
Chick: This is not the United States of White-ass Bitches; this is the United States of America.
Chick: I’m owed this shirt because I’m black, bitches. I don’t owe nothin’ to you white folks. I’m owed this shirt because of slavery.
–Banana Republic, Broadway & Prince
Overheard by: helen r.
News guy: Get your special AM Metro News! Special edition; last one for the year. Get two: one to read and one to frame.
–32nd & 7th
Overheard by: Mary Beth Hanlon
Teen boy: I really wanted to drink some champagne, but I didn’t have any flutes, so I had to drink it out of a wine glass.
Teen girl: That’s really embarrassing.
–Barney’s, Madison Avenue
Wheelbo: Happy new year! Happy new year!…Fuck your mother!
–9th Street & 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Eric
Guy: I guess “not funny” is the new “funny”.
–Comedy Cellar, Macdougal Street
Guy #1: You don’t have one gay relative?
Guy #2: Well, maybe my junkie cousin.
–7th Street & 2nd Avenue
Law chick #1: I assume you passed the corporate accounting exam?
Law guy: Yeah, somehow. I couldn’t get the balance sheet to add up so I just added $130,000 in cash to assets to make it balance. It was a total Hail Mary but it worked…Wait, can you do a Hail Mary at a Jewish law school?
Law chick #2: Sure you can. There’s less interference.
–Cardozo School of Law, 12th & 5th
Guy #1: And do you know what else he does?
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: He puts perfume in his pubes.
Guy #2: Oh, you know, I read about that in an article.
–Bleecker & Christopher
Overheard by: Mya
Girl: Jack, it’s snowing!
Guy: That explains why I’m hard…Sorry…Kiss me.
Girl: I hope it breaks off.
–Astor Place
Overheard by: timothy leary
Man #1: I dunno, Richard Pryor was too…gross for me.
Man #2: Oh yeah?
Man #1: Yeah…Pretty good for a guy that did a lot of drugs, though.
Man #2: Yeah.
Man #1: You know what I just found out? Hunter Thompson did a lot of drugs, too.
Man #2: Really?
Man #1: Apparently.
–Associated Supermarker, Bleecker Street
Overheard by: Gus
Hobo: Hey man, you got some change? I’m saving up for a bag of weed?
Guy: No! I prefer to pay for it myself!
Hobo: Yeah?…Well, I don’t!
–Bleecker & Sullivan
