Tourist: Excuse me, where’s the nearest exit?
Janitor: Uh, which exit?
Tourist: Any exit to get out of here.
Janitor: Anywhere.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Jordan
Tourist: Excuse me, where’s the nearest exit?
Janitor: Uh, which exit?
Tourist: Any exit to get out of here.
Janitor: Anywhere.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Jordan
Tourist lady #1 looking at map: I don’t get it. I don’t see Rockefeller Center. Where’s the tree?
Tourist lady #2: I don’t know. Do you just want to try and find Times Square instead?
–Times Square
Tourist, after receiving directions: Thanks! Very good hotdogs!
Hotdog vender: Same to you!
–W 57th & 6th
Overheard by: Meredith W
Tourist man: Honey, why don’t we just go back to the room?
Tourist woman: Okay. We’re all going to calm down. We’ve done everything we can do. The police report has been filed. We’re all going to forget. We’re going to take a deep breath, and we’re going to move on. A new trip, a new beginning. Our new objective is to simply maneuver from point A to point B without getting mugged.
–Outside Urban Outfitters, 72nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Katie
Tourist #1: Is the show over?
Tourist #2: No, it says here that it’s intermission.
Tourist #3: What do you do during intermission?
–Ambassador Theatre
Overheard by: sophia
Tourist to random girl: You go, girl!
Girl: You can’t say shit like that. You are not in fucking North Carolina anymore!
Tourist: Whatevs, the only difference between New York City and North Carolina is that there is a Y in the middle of N-C.
–Grand Central
Tourist chick #1: What is ‘soup du jour’?
Tourist chick #2: You know, soup with all those little de jours in it.
Tourist chick #1: Oh, right.
–Quasi-French place, E 52nd St
Overheard by: Diner at same restaurant
Late-20s woman: Up until six months ago, I thought Europe was a country. I just didn’t know…
–6 train
Overheard by: 21 and knows better
Social butterfly: Williamsburg? Where is that? Pennsylvania?
–Broadway & Bond
Overheard by: the bfd
Dude: What? You’re not from Illinois, you’re from Chicago!
–Cheesecake Factory
Female tourist: Where’s Chicago, again? Oh, that’s here in New York, right?
–Outside Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Genissimo
Astonished woman: Los Angeles is not a state!
–Outside Javits Center
Overheard by: Tara
Asian tourist chick: Is this considered the West coast?
–Max Brenner, Union Square
Sitting tourist #1: They should have more chairs in these exhibits.
Sitting tourist #2: No, they should give everyone a massage at the end.
–Americans in Paris exhibit, the Met
Tourist mom: Ohhh! Look, dear! A fire escape!
Tourist child: Oh, where? Where?
Tourist mom: See? That balcony with the ladders…
Tourist child: But how do they get down?
Tourist mom: I think that ladder on the side slides down.
Tourist child: Oh, wow. It is just like in the movies!
–Ferry bus, 49th & 6th
Overheard by: A tourist who knows better
